


blood and dirty rain

by gothseokwoo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Bad Boys, Erotica, Fluff, Gangs, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-11 11:52:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10464279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothseokwoo/pseuds/gothseokwoo
Summary: "... he would see him, a boy with darkening eyes, lips tearing up into a smirk before pulling a trigger.What Wonwoo wasn’t also aware, was that Seokmin knew all along he was being followed."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I worked on this fic for a while before I started posting it here. Initially I would only share it with friends; but since there was such a huge lack of seokwoo content (and they are my otp) I thought it would be unfair if I wouldn’t share it with the rest of you. 
> 
> This work is not only chaptered but also divided into three acts.  
> You can find everything about this universe [on a tumblr blog I dedicated to it](https://howlagainsthishair.tumblr.com/bdr) while I was writing. It’s like a scrapbook of sorts.
> 
> Please, if you do read the fic and/or visit the blog, don’t forget to leave feedback/kudos/whatever! Both here or there, it’s okay.  
> It would mean the world to me. ♡  
> Thank you. 
> 
> For more info, check the end notes.

**Blood and Dirty Rain**  
_Seokwoo bad boys!AU_  
Act 1  
  
**I.**

"Nice intervention on your neck, Seokmin. Truly an art piece"

"Much avant-garde" Hansol pointed out.

"Yeah, doesn't look like you were mauled by an animal at all" Seungkwan turned around amusingly to face Wonwoo, who seemed invested in looking as disengaged from the conversation as humanely possible, "I wonder who's the artist...?"

Seokmin, whose attention was actually - and for once - completely immersed in the mission they had in hands, his eyes glossy and eager, not sparing a single glance away from the target, murmured a zoned-out "no idea" under his breath. He was lying down, his hands tensioned around the hilt of an assault rifle, calculating the odds. The shooting task was assigned to him this time and, as in many times before already, he wasn't feeling particularly uneasy; in fact, he wasn't nervous in the slightest, this kind of job was very much like child's play to him at this point. He just wished to end this once and for all so he could go away with Wonwoo as soon as possible, if he were to be entirely honest.

"Tsk, what a shame, I almost wanted to congratulate him for th-"

"Not to interrupt your dissertation on my sex life," Wonwoo threw his cigarette to the ground "but Seungcheol is coming here with the others soon and I'm sure he will be pleased to find out that Seokmin is the only one doing his job."  
"Ha! Don't mind us, we were just contemplating that masterpiece you left there on your boyfriend's nec-"

"Would you guys shut the fuck up for a bit, if you'd be so kind?" - a familiar hiss thundered behind them accompanied by the frightening sight of the hyung trio approaching. Seungcheol, followed by Jihoon and Jeonghan, looked like he was about to set them all on fire. For a change.

"They're here"

 

 

"Why the hell was everybody ignoring Soonyoung's signs from underneath? He was trying to get in touch with you pricks for almost an hour, Hansol and Seungkwan were supposed to be on alert!"

Sometimes, Wonwoo cursed the fact that Seungcheol considered him so reliable. They had finished the mission with a few hindrances along the way, mostly due to the - still - inexperient team at task. He and Seokmin were part of a senior team but sometimes his leader would ask them for help.

"Well, I'm not a babysitter, sorry to break it down to you" he replied annoyed "I wasn't even supposed to be here today. You can't make me responsible for this"

"Say, Wonwoo" the older continued "you lovebirds are aware that this shit isn't a honeymoon? You and Seokmin went to Busan to gather info and we ended up calling you both back here since we really needed reinforcements, but" Seungcheol paused and Wonwoo wondered if that vein on his leader's forehead was about to pop any second, "you guys are still-"

"Working" Jihoon emphasized next to him, looking more bored than disgruntled and slurping what seemed to be a pack of chocolate milk "You are still working"

"Exactly and I- Wha... What are you doing?" Seungcheol had stopped to look at, what Wonwoo assumed, was the puzzling sight of his right-hand looking like a toddler right from the kindergarten "Wait, nevermind, I don't wanna know". The older pressed his fingers on his temples, calming the very imminent seizure he was about to have and looked back at Wonwoo "Are we understood?"

Wonwoo, who had just finished loading his revolver, silently placed it back on his holster and didn't care to point out that, for starters, they barely had any discussion to be understood. Seungcheol left, patting Jihoon on the shoulder and instructing the man - who was still quite invested in downing that chocolate milk - to follow him.

"Hey hyung! Where did you get that?!"

"Shut up, Seungkwan"  
  


 

Easy-going and approchable, even though cautious and safeguarded, Seokmin was a very unusual gang member. He wasn't scary, not even slightly stoic; his smile was reassuring and calmed people when things got hard which, all and all, provided him a very particular profile for negotiations and infiltration missions. His presence - even though intimidating - was, at the same time, so warm - so warm - it easily deceived whoever ignorant about his illicit activities; even those who knew about it, would easily forget and relax. Seokmin's ability was dangerously convenient and, when Wonwoo met him fo the very first time, it intrigued him greatly.

It happened a few years ago, back in highschool. News circulated that a new student had been transfered to Wonwoo's school, right in the middle of the semester, to which the boy didn't pay much attention to. In general, Wonwoo wasn't very aware of classes below his. The boy wasn't elitist, but he prefered discretion, his companions handpicked by levels of trust. Also, people didn't like to approach him that much; Wonwoo never expected to be part of a gang, let alone to be feared.

He and other members of his gang had been invoked to a meeting, a gathering, to introduce a new member to their circles and the boy was more interested in that. They had been informed that the new member was the youngest to have ever been part of the group.

"He will need some guidance", the leader had said, "He will be entrusted to one of his hyungs during these early stages".

It didn't take long for Wonwoo to find out that the new member of his gang and the new kid at school were exactly the same person.

But what Wonwoo had no idea was that the same boy who could brighten up a room solely with his smile, would turn into a fighting and cohersion machine when night approached.

Wonwoo was intrigued and fascinated. He would follow the other boy, peeking from the corners of old buildings, smoke and decay, making sure their glances would never meet.

Wonwoo would see the same boy who calmed lost children, the same boy who helped old ladies crossing the road and stopped in the middle of a street to pet a stray kitten... Wonwoo would see him pressing switchblades to angry throats at bars, breaking random arms before they could initiate a fight; he would see him, a boy with darkening eyes, lips tearing up into a smirk before pulling a trigger.

What Wonwoo wasn't also aware, was that Seokmin knew all along he was being followed.


	2. Chapter 2

**II.**

"Please hyung" Seokmin was whispering, lips pressed on Wonwoo's jaw "come sing with me"

"You're the one who sings" Wonwoo managed to say. He felt dizzy, air rushing hot in his lungs.

They were sitting at an obscure karaoke place Seokmin dragged them into every weekend, usually after grabbing some soju bottles at the convenience store Jisoo worked in. He could sense the owner sighing to Antarctica everytime they went there because he knew the couple would only go after-hours and the poor man was too chicken to ask them to leave. Wonwoo and Seokmin were very aware of that but acted out unheedingly and it was always somewhat hilarious, to say the least. To be fair, Wonwoo thought, even if the owner wasn't the slightest bit afraid of them, Seokmin's sunny charms would still make them stay a little longer.

"But you can sing too" the youngest pulled Wonwoo closer "I like when you sing"

Wonwoo took a deep breath.The dim multi-coloured lights inside the dark room illuminated Seokmin's face just enough for him to feel like his insides were combusting into thick honey, his heart beating like a rabbit. He couldn't even blame the alcohol.

"Not today, Satan"

"Damn man, you're no fun"

Seokmin sulked, biting down the other's neck and pushing him away. As he was about to get up to choose another song, Wonwoo sneaked his arm under the younger's shirt and wrapped his torso, making him collapse onto the sofa, Wonwoo hovering above him.

"I swear to god" the older boy started, planting open-mouthed kisses along his collarbone, moving from the curve of the neck to his jaw "if we don't go home already" he continued, murmuring against Seokmin's skin "... I'm..."

"Then you have to sing"

Wonwoo reached to tug Seokmin's hair and pressed their foreheads together. There was no background music going on accompanying his voice, the deep melody reverberating by itself from his lungs. He kept singing softly, brushing his lips close to Seokmin's skin, breath sending jolts of warm shivers down the other's spine. Then,

"What the fuck do you want, Hansol?"

"Sorry hyung"

Hansol, who looked nervous and very much like he prefered to be somewhere else, was standing at the frontdoor of the dark room.

"And Seok-hyung" he continued "please don't kick my ass, Seungcheol was calling you both but you guys wouldn't answer so he sent me here"

Wonwoo didn't even spare a glance at Hansol.

"Seungcheol... what?" Seokmin was getting up to sit properly on the sofa.

"He has been callin-"

"I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME" Wonwoo cut him. "Why is he calling us again?!"

"T-There's an... issue, downtown."

"Whatever it is, why didn't he ask you or Seungkwan?" Seokmin asked calmly, placing a hand on Wonwoo's shoulder to hold him back. The older was acting strange that day. He did have a shorter temper, especially compared to him but, still, he was usually able to control himself to the point of not shouting at dongsaengs for so little.

"He is still mad at us for fucking up last time, he said we weren't reliable for now."

This time, Wonwoo's voice sounded deeper than usual and barely audible, "Tell him we are not reliable either, then."

"Dude, this isn't a joke. Jihoon is there with Minghao and shit is going down, they are both alone" Hansol looked exasperated "He would call you anyways, we need everybody there."

There was a suffocating silence for a few seconds before Wonwoo spoke again.  
  
"I'm seriously sick of all of you" He got up, grabbing his jacket "Why can't you all stay out of trouble for a fucking day?".

 

 

"You like it."

"What?"

It was near dawn and they were standing in the middle of a suburbian street, now glazed in blood, sweat, tears and other body fluids they prefered not to know. The couple had arrived there not long before, with Hansol, and helped clearing out the area of some druglords from an enemy gang - they believed - looking to set things out with Minghao, probably due to a previous mission. Unconscious men were sprawled out on the ground but most of their group was safe.

"You like trouble. And people who are always in trouble. You just don't like to admit it."

"If you're saying that because of how we met" Wonwoo paused for a while "Then you're wrong." He turned to gaze at Seokmin's eyes "You never needed my help, you could very well figure things out by yourself."

"Well," Seokmin shrugged and smiled cheekily "I had good hyungs."

Wonwoo frowned at that, just like Seokmin predicted. It was cute when the older acted that way and Seokmin knew by now how Wonwoo always felt about not being the one assigned to him back in the day. He remembered over-hearing a conversation between him and the leader.

 

"Why do you want to know, Wonwoo?" the leader had questioned, to which Wonwoo shrugged, replying that curiosity was at blame, while Seungcheol, who wasn't a leader at the time, observed the exchange between them, skeptically.

That gang, back in the day, wasn't the same as the current they were in, although many of the older members of the current gang used to be part of it. They were highschoolers playing rough back then, after all. None of them had a family to go back to at the end of the day, most of them being orphans or abandoned children. Some of them had been unnamed kids that barely existed until the leader decided to look after them. Most of them would see him as the father figure they never had, a man raising an army of vigilante boys who most people would stamp as delinquent. And now? Now they worked against governments, corrupt corporations and abuse of power. They would do what legal organizations couldn't - or didn't have the guts - to do.

"You are not the curious type though. Why the sudden interest on the new kid?"  
Wonwoo fidgeted uncomfortably at that, "I'm not interested"

"Well, it doesn't look so."

The boy was turning around to leave when his leader's voice echoed behind him.

"He's with Jihoon and Jeonghan"

Wonwoo stopped in his tracks for a second.

"They seem to get along well."

 

  
"I had good hyungs helping me out" Seokmin repeated, wrapping his arms around Wonwoo's waist from behind "But the best one is right here."

Wonwoo startled him, turning around and grasping his collar to close the distance between them, lips pressing together like custom fit. They tasted like soju and blood and what affection was probably made of.

"God, I hate you"

"I love you too"


	3. Chapter 3

**III.**

_A few years ago_

 

"Who are you hiding from?"

Wonwoo had been following Seokmin for over a week now. He already knew his patterns, the people he got along with, the places he usually went alongside Jihoon and Jeonghan. Sometimes, Wonwoo would simply follow the hyungs, since he knew they would lead him to the other boy. He liked to believe that stalking wasn't the right terminology for what he was doing - actually, he liked to believe many things; the fact that he was fooling himself was definitely not in his book.

That day, he followed Seokmin after classes ended. The boy headed to a bustling suburb, the air saturated, the contamination of an oily smell of fried food leaking from the cracks of decrepit buildings. Seokmin had never been there during the past few days, Wonwoo noted. He couldn't gather why he was there in the first place until, eventually, while dwelling in his own thoughts, he lost the boy from his sight.

Panic hit him suddenly, crushing his lungs. Then, a question struck him like a thunderbolt and he sensed a gentle pat on his back, making him turn around only to see a pair of curious eyes and a very peculiar smile.

"I'm not hiding" Wonwoo hissed back quickly.

"Really?" Seokmin cocked his head to the side and stepped back to give a proper look at the older boy "Kinda looked like you were".

"I said" Wonwoo repeated firmly "I'm not hiding".

"Who are you following, then?"

Wonwoo felt so nervous he thought his heart was about to come out of his mouth, leaping bloody and straight to his hands.

"It's none of your business."

"Oh"

The younger boy sounded taken aback, his smile faltering a bit. But, for some reason, that smile didn't match his eyes. "Ok, then" he said, simply.

He is so odd, Wonwoo thought. Was he really just going to leave it at that? He was definitely suspicious of him now, if he didn't know already what was going on there. So... was he simply just... going to drop it?

A very awkward silence creeped between the two boys before the youngest spoke again.

"It's time for me to meet up with the others so I will be heading back." Seokmin took a step forward and looked at Wonwoo with wishful eyes "Do you want to go back with me, Wonwoo hyung?"

"No, thanks." Wonwoo turned around as he was about to speak again over his shoulder "I won't be at the meeting today. Be careful heading back."

 

 

"Of course he knows your name"

"Who told him my name?"

"Nobody." Jeonghan replied impatiently, crossing his arms "I'm not sure if you are aware but you guys are from the same gang?", the long-haired boy added, arching an eyebrow. "And school."

"So what? I didn't know the names of almost anyone until we were introduced to each other" Wonwoo looked very upset for no particular reason "I still don't know the names of some of the guys, to be honest."

"That's because you decided to camp on the moon and didn't leave ever since."

Wonwoo wished he could quite literally roll his eyes to the back of his skull and sighed deeply before Jeonghan spoke again, "What is this all about, anyway? You're acting really weird lately, man."

To be wholeheartedly honest with himself, Wonwoo didn't know what was going on either. But the mere fact that Seokmin knew his name had left a bizarre tingling upon his body that he couldn't quite unravel.

 

 

"Fight me"

"I'm not gonna fight you, hyung"

Wonwoo had no idea how things got to that point but there he was, at his school's courtyard, leather jacket thrown to the ground as he provoked a boy who had done nothing that could have triggered any of this. _Nothing_? Wonwoo thought again. He had done more than enough. All those weeks that had passed since their last encounter, handling all those smiles and luminous energy. He couldn't deal with any of that anymore. It spited him so much, it made his stomach twitch in every possible shape, his knees melting like slime. The sight of the other boy talking and laughing with the other hyungs annoyed him so much, it was like his chest burned down to ashes. The presence of the other boy was so inapprehensible to him, it caused him such an uncomfortable physical reaction, the only way he could think of to solve the issue was, perhaps, to break his face.

"I said," Wonwoo's voice resembled a growl "Fight me."

"What..." Seokmin uttered, his voice sounding bewildered and unusually jaded. "... do you want from me?"

"How about we show the rest of the people here what you're really made of?"  
At this point, Wonwoo's brain was trying to alert his heart that he would end up regretting this, but his heart had lost the ability to function properly long ago. "Everybody thinks you're a happy pill", he continued, "why don't we show them your tolerance wears thin like the rest of us?"

Seokmin looked at him like one would look at Winnie the Pooh trying to solve algebra. He couldn't even gather anything to reply to that. Like, what the hell?

Suddenly, Wonwoo advanced to what intentioned to be a punch in his guts but Seokmin' reflexes swiftly grabbed his wrist, twisting it behind him and pulling him closer.

"I said..." Seokmin mumbled close to his ear, "... I am not going to fight you..." he continued, applying more pressure to the other's arm, "... hyung."

You see, if Seokmin is naturally good at acting quickly, Wonwoo is experienced in reading a moment in-battle. So, it wouldn't be surprising if Wonwoo took advantage of the situation to strike the other boy's head with his forehead so he would fall on his back. It wouldn't be a stretch, either, if Wonwoo straddled him right after to deliver consecutive punches to his face.

"I wonder why did you even came here in the first place", Wonwoo managed to say, with struggle. He regretted it right after but it didn't matter anymore because that was it. That was when Seokmin snapped and patience shattered into tiny pieces, the boy wiping the blood on his mouth and lunging forward to grapple Wonwoo's abdomen, the muscles on his back moving like an animal.

"Junhui, call the hyungs" Soonyoung sighed.

"This is gonna be great."

 

 

It had not, in fact, been great.

They were sitting at a packed up office in some rusty old police station, the man in front of them looking not only spiritless but also like he wanted to go home as soon as possible but those stupid kids were not letting him.

"So, this is how it's gonna be." The greasy man began."Either one of you fucktards spills which of you started all this crap so I can file a proper report," he threatened, startling them with the bang of a folder on top of the desk, "or the report is gonna file itself with both of you being hold accountable."

"We both started." Seokmin said "We are both at fault."

"What the hell are you saying?" Wonwoo shouted "That's not true at all!". He was looking at Seokmin and he couldn't decipher in the slightest what was going in his head. "I started!"

"No, you did n-"

"This is honestly the stupidest thing I've seen all week and I'm sick of looking at both of you so I will just gonna let you go this time." The policeman declared. "Make sure you pay the fee or else you can't leave"

"Now, if you will excuse me, lads." The man said, pointing at the office's exit. "Have a nice day."

 

 

The two boys were being scolded by their leader at, what they called, the community house. It was there where they usually gathered and trained, and also their superior's location. Some members lived there as well, others prefering to stay somewhere else, either by themselves or sharing among each other. Wonwoo used to live there in the beginning but, eventually, he decided to move out with Seungcheol until the boy ended up moving away with Jihoon, leaving Wonwoo all by himself. He kind of prefered things to be that way but, sometimes, his place was too gloomy and empty for him. Sometimes his hands didn't feel like his own when he was there, alone. He wondered where Seokmin was living.

"I asked you a question" He heard a very rough voice stinging in his ears. "Answer me."

If he could describe the man in front of them, Wonwoo would likely compare him to an angry rottweiler. He had been shouting at them for the past hour, since they left the police station. He couldn't exactly blame him; he wanted to shout at himself too.

"What the hell were you thinking, you numbskulls? Were you trying to kill each other?!"

Wonwoo peeked at Seokmin, who was right by his side, excruciatingly mute.

"Fighting one of your own?" There was so much disgust in this statement, Wonwoo felt like he was about to throw up himself.

Seokmin wasn't supposed to be there, Wonwoo thought. He wasn't supposed to listen to any of that and, yet, when the leader was being reported about the incidents, the boy jumped in action to make sure no one would tell him the true version of the facts. Seokmin kept taking part of a blame he shouldn't have to carry in the first place and Wonwoo simply couldn't understand that.

"Also, congratulations" the man barked "Your school suspended you both for two weeks".

The boys remained silent, yet lifting their heads a little to the startling news while the man in front of them was grimacing almost maniacally.

"And I was wondering why didn't they just get you expelled" he continued, cracking his knuckles, "Which would have been quite convenient since I would have let you both there to rot instead of paying your fucking way out. I bet you would have learned your lesson real quick."

"But since you were suspended" he said "I hope you like the idea of spending the next two weeks with bleach up your noses, because you will be cleaning the house and the gym every single day" He continued, forcing the boys to look him in the eyes. "Together."

After a while, the brutish man calmed down slightly.

"I will leave Seungcheol in charge of checking up on you once in a while to make sure you're not ditching." Wonwoo could feel his friend's gaze burning on the back of his head at the sound of that command.

"Get out of my sight already."

 

"Wonwoo"

Seungcheol, who had remained in the sidelines listening to the leader's scolding, uncrossed his arms to sandwich Wonwoo's face in his hands and shout a deserved "What the fuck, man?"

As for Wonwoo, he just felt quite dead inside.

Also, he didn't see where Seokmin had gone after the leader left. He was expecting him to stay there for a bit longer, but when he looked up to his side, the other boy had already vanished.

"You're usually the calmest dude we have around?" The other boy stated, perplexed.

It was true that Wonwoo was very calm and collected with his peers but he could be rough at times, although only when someone crossed the line with him or when he was just goofing around. He used to be a lot friendlier, people would tell him, but he got colder and harsher instead. Occupational hazard.

"I mean, you can be quite the intimidating type but, still, you're this clingy, quiet and sensitive fluffb-"

"Please stop right there."

"... and this sort of shit isn't like you at all." Seungcheol pointed out, "You used to have at least a good amount of common sense and that kid did nothing for you to behave like this."

"It's been a long week."

"Look, my guy," At this point Wonwoo almost believed his friend was about to punch him in the face to wake him up and, deep down, the boy kind of wished he did. The punch never came though. "Please cut the crap, will you?"

"I think he likes Seokmin, actually" Jihoon intervened suddenly. "Love acts in strange ways." he continued, in a slightly mocking tone.

"Dude, I don't mean to disrespect but your observation skills are kind of down today", Wonwoo looked not only astonished but his ears were also burning, "I don't know why did you show up out of nowhere to contribute with nonsense to the conversation," he paused to take a deep breath "But no, I am n-"

"Whatever you say." Jihoon shrugged, "Now go think about your life someplace else, then." The other boy added, shooeing him."I need to talk with 'Cheol."

 _Well, thank you very much_ , Wonwoo thought, as he showed himself the wait out. When he opened the door, he stood there for a few seconds before looking back at the couple. He kind of wished he hadn't, because it felt like lockpicking someone's heart without their consent. He was aware long ago of the nature of his friends' relationship but they had always been extremely discreet and Wonwoo generally respected that.

For some reason, Seokmin crossed his mind in that moment but he shaked it off, brushing the idea away and turning to leave without a sound.

 

The next day, Wonwoo woke up with Seungcheol banging at his door. He had no idea what time it was but he knew it was probably around the nobody-should-be-living-at-this-time o'clock.

"Yo, rise and shine, sleeping beaut- What the hell, man?"

Wonwoo was standing at the front door, half-naked, wearing only sweatpants and a pair of barely opened eyes.

"Didn't you hear the old man yesterday?!" His friend yelled, yanking him endlessly as if that would make any difference. "Jihoon told me Seokmin is already there, what the fuck are you doing still dressed like that?"

Oh, he was supposed to clean the community house as punishment.

Wonwoo had completely forgotten.

He silently prayed for the floor to swallow him up.

 

Wonwoo didn't see Seokmin not even once ever since he arrived. Everytime the boy moved to a different room, he would never find him, to the point that he wondered if he weren't the only one working in there. Eventually, he saw him at lunch, when Jeonghan passed by to leave him something to eat. Their gazes locked at some point and Wonwoo felt his insides twisting again into an eerie feeling he couldn't describe; until Seokmin withdrawed with a lifeless expression and walked away.

Hours later, Wonwoo found him at the gym. He didn't know what exactly he was trying to achieve by going to talk to him, whether he wanted to apologize or something else but it was like his body moved on his own accord and his only wish was to be in the same space as the other boy.

"I don't want to talk to you" Seokmin warned with an unfamiliar coldness. "If that's what you're here for."

"Why did you take the blame, the other day?"

Seokmin stopped and looked up, puzzled "A fight isn't an unilateral situation, otherwise it would have been assault." He resumed what he was doing and added "I fought back."

Silence embraced them, uncomfortable and poisonous, a silence that stretched the time from seconds to hours. Then, a whisper fell to the ground, "I hurt you."

"You acted in self-defense." Wonwoo stated "I started everything and you didn't have to take any blame."

"I wonder if you took the blame because you knew it would make me feel worse."

The words echoed as sharp as knives and Seokmin looked at him like he was about to snarl. "You need help." He said, hurt.

Wonwoo lunged forward and pinned the boy to the wall, one of his hands cupping the other's jaw, the other pressing at his ribs, a knee placed between his legs. He waited for the other boy's reaction. It felt strange, Seokmin could have easily resisted, but he didn't even show signs of struggle. Instead, he looked at Wonwoo open-eyed and adrift.

"You piss me off."

"Good thing the feeling is mutual."

They stayed like that for a while, their breaths ragged and rowdy, hearts drumming aloud. Their eyes collided and unmovable. Seokmin looked at him with a mix of awe and disorientation; it felt like vertigo. Wonwoo remembered all those characters he had read in all his books, characters that wanted to be part of each other, hearts migrating into merged ribcages; characters wanting to become wolves so they could howl against each other's hair. Wonwoo very much wanted to howl against Seokmin's hair. Seokmin, a boy he barely knew for such a little amount of time. He wanted... he wanted...

Footsteps approached and Seokmin pulled away, shoving the other boy effortlessly.

"Yah! You were supposed to be working?!"

Wonwoo couldn't hear Seungcheol this time.


	4. Chapter 4

**IV.**

Days passed after the incident and none of them exchanged a word during the time they were completing service. When the two weeks came to an end, Wonwoo would barely leave his house or do anything productive, much to Seungcheol's nagging. He would occupy his mind with books and sleep and random sessions of push-ups until his arms were so numb and worned out he couldn't feel anything else going on inside his head. Sometimes he would sleep until the sun had already set, sometimes he would leave the house for cold, lonely walks at dusk. Wonwoo felt his heart sinking each day that went by, more and more.

One day, he collapsed burning in fever on his bed.

"Do you want to know how is Seokmin doing?" Jihoon asked one day. Wonwoo didn't know which day it was since he couldn't even tell whether he was hallucinating anymore. Did he still have a body? Was he even alive? Seungcheol would mock him and tell him how melodramatic he was. In any case, he kind of wanted to die.

"I literally didn't ask." he muttered, shakily.

"Well, Seokmin is doing great, for your information."

"Please get out of my house."

"I can't leave you to die right now. I want you to live so you will never question my observation skills ever again." Jihoon giggled maliciously, while changing the damp towel on Wonwoo's forehead.

"How many days passed?..."

"Since you've been lovestruck with Seokmin?" Jihoon was surely having a fun time. "You tell me."

"... since I've had this fever."

"Oh, that. Ten hours."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not even joking" Jihoon laughed almost histerically. "But you've been passed out most of the time so I guess you dreamed a bit."

Wonwoo still wanted to die.

"I messed up."

"You did." His friend replied in an empathetic whisper."You messed up big time."

"So, how's our boy and his love fever?" Wonwoo recognized Jeonghan's voice. How long had him been there?

"I-It's" Wonwoo tried to reply "No...t a lov... fev... er."

Jihoon turned to Jeonghan, ignoring Wonwoo's remark, "Wow, can you believe we were right all along?"

"Did you know that when you're heartbroken strings in your heart actually break?" Jeonghan shared, way too enthusiastically "Your heart is literally broken, man, how badass is that?"

Wonwoo sensed a sudden pat on the side of his bed, "C'mon princess!" Oh god, Seungcheol was there too. "Time to get your shit together, you've seen worse than this."

Wonwoo really wanted to die.

"How much do I have to pay so you will all leave me alone?"

 

 

"When are you gonna finish that?"

Seungcheol was pointing at Wonwoo's ink on his forearm. Gang tattoos were more than common amidst their circles; they were a given characteristic at some point. There were specific codes, meanings and protocoles behind each design but their gang wasn't very specific about it, yet. It would be, in their future, but neither Wonwoo or Seungcheol could even consider that one day they would be part of a way bigger organization.

"Eventually." Wonwoo replied, moving his eyes away from the book on his lap. "I got the outline done a few weeks ago, the guy has been doing this to repay a favor. I didn't have time to go back there to fill it in yet."

He did had pently of time; he had just been too miserable and disoriented to live like a functioning human-being. Details. But at least he was now very aware of the source of his distress. He just prefered to, like his good old self, not talk about it.

"Speaking of tattoos" Seungcheol continued, "Apparently there have been a few issues in Busan lately."

"How so?"

"It's some gang with some weird flower tattoo on the palm of their hands." Seungcheol illustrated, holding an open fist in the air before continuing, "Not sure what's been going on but I overheard some guys talking about it near the police station."

Wonwoo raised his eyebrows a little but didn't reply. He just shrugged and resumed his reading.

"Do you think Seokmin has any tattoos?"

"Ok, look, I don't know why is this funny to you all but next time I'm-"

"You need to fix your life, man and it ain't hard" His hyung interrupted, raising his voice. "Leave this goddam house for a change, go talk to him". He gently patted Wonwoo's shoulder and added "We have been mocking you so you'll finally do something, because it's really not that deep."

"Really funny for you to say." Wonwoo retorted. "How's Jihoon?"

"Jihoon is great, thank you for asking. Our relationship is prospering, contrary to yours that doesn't even exist."

Wonwoo kicked his book to the side and, as he was about to get up, his hyung spoke again.

"Listen, there is this kid called Minghao coming in a few months.", he started, hesitantly, "He is a friend of Seokmin. Apparently they're from the same place and I don't know much but, as far as I gathered, those kids have seen some shit." Wonwoo was staring at the floor, mute and unmovable. Seungcheol sighed. "He is a very particular guy, that Seokmin." He continued. "And, even though I haven't met him for long, I already feel quite fatherly towards him, which is probably weird. But what I wanted to say is... "

A crushing silence fell in the room. Seungcheol could swear he saw his friend's lower lip quiver a little.

"... please start acting like the hyung you are supposed to be to him."

 

 

All the members were gathering once more for a meeting with the leader, who seemed more than eager to send the newcomers to the field for a new job. This used to happen every once in while, to send the new kids with the older - or more experienced - ones in teams, like a test. Wonwoo had promised himself he wouldn't have anything to do with that, until time came to part teams and the old man approached him before he could flee unnoticed.

"Wonwoo" He called. "You and Seokmin will get in a car and head to Wonju."

What? Did he hear it right?

"There is something you both need to retrieve for me."

"But sir, I don't think I am the most fitted for the task." Wonwoo argued, anxiety building up in his stomach. "Surely Seokmin would prefer to go with someone else."

"Wonwoo, I don't have time for this.", the leader retorted, annoyed, "Shut the hell up and do as I say."

The boy was about to argue but the man cut him instantly. "He can't drive yet but you do. Get the car and go pick him up at 10 p.m. sharp. Ask Jihoon where he lives." the man continued, "You can't go too fast or else you'll raise suspicions and you also need to rest at some point. Make sure you arrive there around 6 a.m.". he rested his hand on Wonwoo's shoulder and squeezed it a little "I'm putting my trust on you, boy. Have fun." The man turned around and left before Wonwoo could come up with a reply.

Have... _fun_?


	5. Chapter 5

**V.**

Wonwoo stood in front of Seokmin's place - which was also Jeonghan's place, he noted - for about twenty minutes before deciding to knock. It was pathetic of him, he had to agree.

When the other boy opened the door, he thought he was about to pass out. Seokmin, who had probably opened the door while changing, had his shirt still unbuttoned, the black fabric framing his exposed torso. Although both boys were about the same height, Seokmin's build was thicker than Wonwoo's; he remembered noticing it during their fight, but his mind was so clouded at the time, he hadn't put much thought into it. There was ink covering a great part of his skin, to Wonwoo's surprise. He didn't imagine Seokmin's body would collect so many tattoos, like his, strategically placed where clothes would hide.

 _Seungcheol... you bastard_ , Wonwoo thought. He does have tattoos.

Seokmin moved uncomfortably before crossing his arms and leaning to the doorframe. "Weren't you supposed to be here at 10?" The boy raised an eyebrow. "It's 8.30"

"I know," Wonwoo replied cautiously, trying not to stare too much. "I will be back at that time, I just wanted to check if you're okay with this."

"It's not that I really have a choice, do I?"

"You are a free man." Wonwoo smiled. "Although I tried to ask the leader to set you with Soonyoung or someone else." _Even though the mere thought of it would have left me destroyed_ , he added in his mind. "But he didn't let me talk."

The other boy looked at him for almost a minute, with an expression Wonwoo couldn't quite read. Then, he turned away.

"See you later, then."

 

It was dark and icy, the car windows glossy with dew and an unbearable silence weighing heavy between them. Wonwoo was wondering whether turning on the radio to loosen up the mood would be a good idea, sparing a few cautious glances to the boy next to him, who was so nonchalantly leaned to the windowsill; his eyes sleepy, a mix of serenity and dreaminess staring at the road and the stars.

"You can sleep if you want." Wonwoo suggested in a whisper. But there was no reply.

The image of Seokmin, sleeping, crossed his mind.  
So soft... He pictured the way it would feel to run his fingers through his hair, to lay a chaste kiss on his temples... He wanted to circle his arms around his waist and lie on his chest to sense his breathing, slow and soothing. The binary compass of his hearbeat a lullaby.

Suddenly, the other boy shifted slightly beside him, startling him a bit.

 _... I don’t know where to go but the stars far away pull me_  
I can feel it, I can feel it  
I feel like I can be a light...

It was soft and very close to a whisper and so, so beautiful. In that moment, the only things piercing Wonwoo's thoughts were whether he had crashed while daydreaming and why was an angel sitting right beside him.

_...I regret getting attached to you.  
I never forget you..._

Wonwoo had suspected, way before, that, perhaps, Seokmin could sing. He overheard Jihoon asking the younger boy if he wanted to listen to a few songs he had written; his friend liked to compose and rearrange songs once in a while, sometimes even asking him for help with the lyrics, but Wonwoo was aware there was this frustration haunting Jihoon for years while he couldn't find someone skilled enough to sing very specific parts of his creations.

_... I miss you, I need you_  
even in my dreams, I'm with you  
_I miss you, I need you_  
_rewind back the time, I wanna kiss you again my boy..._

He had suspected Seokmin could sing, yes. But he had no idea he could sing like _that_. It was unfair, Wonwoo thought. All of this was so unfair. He felt his own heart squeezing in itself, like one would hide under the sheets for protection. Too late.

"Your voice is so beautiful."

Oh god, he said it. The words slipped out of his mouth.

The other boy didn't move, still facing the window and not sparing him a glance. Wonwoo presumed the pain inside him was his chest entering ebullition. He was starting to feel dizzy again.

"Thanks." He heard the other boy saying, like a mirage. "Your voice is nice too."

Wonwoo blinked a few times. Gulping, he tried to form a few words to reply, with little to no success, but the other boy was way ahead of him.

"It's deep and... It feels so safe when you speak." He continued. "Which is ironic." A bitter smile teared in his lips. "Because since I arrived you've been the least safest thing going on."

"I'm sorry."

"You're an idiot."

"I know."

They stayed silent for a while, only with the sound of oblique needles drilling the car's roof. Wonwoo couldn't recall when did it start raining; He remained silent until the neon lights of a gas station showed up distorted in the horizon and, eventually, he pulled over.

Wonwoo inhaled deeply and gathered some courage to look properly at the boy beside him. He looked tired, the kind of non-physical tiredness that could only be found in one's eyes. Wonwoo tried to reach one of his hands.

"D-don't" Seokmin flinched.

"Would you look at me, then?... Please?"

"No."

 _I guess that's fair_ , Wonwoo thought, as he opened the door to the rain.

Soaking wet, he came back inside a few minutes later only to see Seokmin stripping his jacket and handing it to him, to which Wonwoo tried to refuse, until Seokmin threatened that if he didn't take the jacket already, he would get out of the car and head back home by foot. Reluctantly, and because Wonwoo wasn't sure whether the other boy was crazy enough to actually do it, he took the jacket and instructed him to rest.  
Wonwoo tried to synchronise his breathing with Seokmin's. He wanted to fall asleep after the other boy but he underestimated how tired he, himself, actually was; he had been driving for a few hours already, after all. When he woke up, Seokmin was trying to dismantle his gun to clean it up and load it but his hands were shaking a lot and the parts kept slipping from his fingers. Wonwoo reached them, gently; they were cold and he really wanted to warm them for him but that probably would end up pushing the boy farther away from him even more and Wonwoo didn't want that. He pulled everything together, cleaned up and loaded the gun effortlessly, while glancing carefully at the other boy, reading his expressions.

"I have been doing this for a while, hyung." Seokmin felt the need to say. "Usually I wouldn't need your help at all." He paused, looking slightly embarassed. "Don't misunderstand."

"I don't." Wonwoo replied, warmly. "I'm just glad there was something I could help you with."

Silence, again. It started to be really exhausting to handle these silences. His nerves were eating him up to the bone.

"You wondered why I came here to begin with."

"Look, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean anyth-"

"I come from..." Seokmin was looking vacantly at Wonwoo's hands, "... well, I don't really want to talk about it but..."

Wonwoo didn't move, or make any sound, as if the boy in front of him was a wounded bird he didn't want to frighten at any cost.

"... let's say that, at some point, I was living far away in a place similar to the community house but it was more like an orphanage. It wasn't a gang, in any sense... I just used to hang out with two other guys who were my chingus. They were like my brothers too. We would often get away from that place at night and return by dawn."    
Seokmin paused for a while. His features hardened a little, his breathing strained. He looked so unsettled and, even in that moment, he was so handsome, bathed by the moonlight.

"One night, we were out for a job, a mission of our own... and when we came back... we... everybody from the house was... th... they were..."

The boy bit down his own lip, harshly and struggling to control his emotions. Wonwoo wanted to tell him that it was okay, he could open up to him, but no words would come out of his mouth. He was so distraught and angry at himself.

"We had to run and part ways. We didn't know if whoever did that would come for us too and we were so lost and confused, we thought it was the smartest option so that we wouldn't be traced." Seokmin inhaled deeply. "I don't know where the others are right now, I just hope they are safe." He continued, "I erranded from place to place for a while, trying to get back to Seoul, where I was born and... where I grew up. I... eventually came accross the Leader and he helped me out."

Seokmin looked up at Wonwoo to meet his eyes. "I don't expect you to understand but... The reason why I smile so much... It's just very natural for me. I have always been like this." He didn't move his eyes from the older boy. "It's a way to cope." He added, in a murmur, "I just want to see everybody around me feeling good. I can't rest until I know they are happy somehow."  
At this point, Wonwoo had long lost the ability to speak.

_**You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.** _

"I believe that, even when things seem too rough and too much to bear... Even in the darkest times... There might be a glint of hope. A light you can hold on too. Sometimes you need to be your own light."

**_And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired._ **

"Can I..." Seokmin whispered, his voice falling apart, "... can I kiss you?"

**_You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist,_ **

Wonwoo's reply was slow and cautious and silent. He moved forward and touched the other boy's chin gently, their lips lingering so close to each other. Their breaths were shaking and melting, in a dizziness different from before. He remained still, waiting for the wounded bird to come to him. A whisper brushed his skin before their lips, bewitched by light, closed the distance between them,  
"There are many things you can help me with, hyung."

**_and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> » END OF ACT 1 «


	6. Chapter 6

**Blood and Dirty Rain**  
_Seokwoo bad boys!AU_  
Act 2  
  
**VI.  
**

“Wait a second!” Hansol jumped on his seat

“Are you trying to tell us that- THAT mission was just a ploy TO GET THOSE TWO TOGETHER?! Oh MY GOD...”

A very annoying explosion of laughter filled that warm air of summer. Seokmin, who was – trying – to take a nap, balancing a hammock at some abandoned house they decided to take as some sort of temporary headquarters, opened his eyes to what could only be his loud pupil Seungkwan yelling like a hyenna.

“I know right?” He could hear Soonyong’s voice this time “The Leader knew what was going on for so long, he was just so sick of their lovey-dovey teenage drama”

“So he had to act upon it” added Jeonghan with, what he could imagine, a stupid grin splashed on his face. “In a way, it was a mission of its own, but only for the rest of us who had to keep quiet about it and act like it was real!”

Another wave of laughter. This time, a whole symphony of it.

 _Idiots_ , Seokmin thought to himself, smiling fondly.

 

 

He could recall how things ended up that day as if it had been only days ago.  
His anxiety mixed with anger and some odd, dislocated serenity. The way Wonwoo’s lips tasted against his. The neon lights of those motels and gas stations on the road embracing them. How they realized they had just failed a mission that never existed in the first place and laughed so hard their bellies hurt. Seokmin would avoid Wonwoo’s gaze at times, as if to safeguard his heart. _He is just a guy you like_ , he would whisper to calm himself. _You have been through so much,_ he would keep whispering, while pressing his fingers between his eyebrows _, compared to this... this is nothing_. It didn’t feel like so, though. He still felt so anxious, there was so much from his past he had to unravel to the boy next to him, who he just kissed. But the boy didn’t seem to care about whatever demons were ahead of them. Seokmin remembered how Wonwoo looked at him patiently, waiting, just like when he would wait for a stray, hurt kitten to gain his trust and let him take care of his wounds.

"It was the kind of feeling of wanting to be part of you like," Wonwoo would tell him that same night, back at the community house, cuddling under the covers, "our ribcages merging and... and all that... shit"

"Wow, poetry at this time, you must read a lot" Seokmin would laugh affectionately at his boyfriend’s frown "Where did you get that from?"

"Look Seokmin-ah, I..."

“I would love to read whatever book you got that from, hyung”

And the night would envelop in kissed eyelids and breathy whispers.

 

 

 

“The Interpol called”

The laughter ceased immediately. Seokmin being forcibly pushed from those years ago, back to the present. And what a challenging present that was.

“Wow, if I knew those three words would make you shut up like that so effectively I would have used them a lot more times before” Seungcheol hissed sarcastically, entering the porch, followed by Jihoon and Wonwoo, who winked at Seokmin and smiled subtlety before adding to his leader’s words “This time, me and Seokmin aren’t going to Busan alone. We are all going.”

While the senior team knew what was going on, the rest of the crew looked around puzzled.

“And why the hell?” Chan asked

“Because I said so. And the Interpol said so.” Seungcheol replied coldly. There was no time for questioning their orders but there they were again. He caught Jihoon rolling his eyes for the fourteenth time that day. A full record.

“But aren’t we kinda like the Interpol too? This is so confus-”

“Jesus Christ, Hansol, how many fucking times do I have to...” Wonwoo wanted to hit his pupil with a chair at this point. He explained to him so many times how Interpol and their gang were two distinct entities that worked together. They were part of the organization but, at the same time, they weren’t. They were a secret weapon. Legally and officially it was as if they didn’t exist. Mere ghosts, fighting crime.

“Yeah dude, we are more like the Avengers!” claimed Seungkwan with an enthusiasm that didn’t fit the situation at all. Seokmin picked an old newspaper from the floor, rolled it and hit his head. “Ouch, that hur-“ Seungkwan turned around on his seat starting to whine but at the sight of a very serious hyung, still holding the rolled newspaper on one hand and making a “shush” sign with the other, he sank on his seat and remained silent. Another time and Seokmin would have friendly punched his shoulder and joined his silly laughter, agreeing with him “Yeah ahah, like the Avengers”. But this wasn’t the time for that.

“Whatever, in any case, the time has come to leave this place for now” Jihoon declared vehemently. “Everybody, pack your stuff. We’re leaving”

 

 

  
“Are you okay?” Wonwoo sat on the verge of the bed and curled his arm around Seokmin’s thigh. Seokmin, on the other hand, was standing next to the bed, biting his lips and looking vacantly at the floor. He wasn’t afraid to face his past. He was exhausted. He couldn’t wait for all that to end. Sometimes he would wake up with the cruel hope that most of his life until he joined the gang was nothing but a dream. But then, he wouldn’t have met Mingyu and Minghao. They were like brothers, there was this symbiotic, platonic love between them some families linked by blood didn’t even know how it felt.

Wonwoo pulled his lover closer, making him fall on his lap. Seokmin hated that, he prefered the other way around and that was exactly what Wonwoo liked to use to tease him. This time, the younger boy didn’t even complain. He hid his face on the curve of the other’s neck.

“My boyfriend is a baby, I can’t believe”

“Shut up” Seokmin replied, sinking deeper on his lover’s shoulder. He had been protecting everybody, cheered up everybody all the time. Now, he was drained.

“Do you want to stay like this for a while?...”

Seokmin didn’t say anything.

“I see, even the sun needs to refill his energy...” Wonwoo started saying, with a soft smirk.

Seokmin stayed silent.

“... even the sun needs some warmth” and with that, Wonwoo raised the other’s chin and licked the tears on the younger’s face and kissed his forehead and his eyelids and his shivering lips.

“I want to worship the sun tonight. Will you let me?”

Seokmin smiled against his hyung’s skin.

 

 

 

 

In a nearby room, a very distressed Jeonghan was trying to brush his locks of hair. He was frustrated for letting his hair come to that state, so untamed, but mostly, he was nervous. At some point, he gave up and threw the brush to the other side of the room

"Fuck my life"

"I'm trying"

The deep familiar voice startled Jeonghan. He didn’t notice Mingyu entering the room. He watched him silently, the way the younger picked up the brush on his feet and walked towards him. He didn’t say anything when he touched Jeonghan’s hair like it was made of gold or of a very delicate piece of porcelain and brushed calmly and effortlessly, braiding it afterwards with the care and love a child nurse would give to a baby.

“Could you please relax a little?” Mingyu finally said “I’m the one who should be a nervewreck right now. I’m trying my best not to and...”

“Mingyu, don’t you understand how we feel?” Jeonghan interrupted.

“ _We_?”

“Yes, we the hyungs who happened to fall in love with three troubled boys with a fucked up past not only haunting them but also seeking for vengeance!” Jeonghan screeched melodramatically.

Mingyu recalled how they met. It was a long story, surely for another time. But he recalled the way the world stopped when he saw the long-haired man at Seokmin’s house. He recalled all those first moments between them.

 

 

 _“Now don’t go around telling others we are a couple!” Jeonghan saying that with a string of saliva still lingering on his swollen lips._  
_“But we are a couple!” Mingyu would reply, amused._

 

 

“Hyung”

Jeonghan didn’t look up.

“Hyung, everything will be alright.” Mingyu cupped his hyung’s face, leaving soft pecks all around, repeatedly. “Trust me for once, please.”

 

 

 

“C’mon hyung, stop letting me win!” Minghao pouted and giggled like a child.

They were playing videogames, he and Soonyoung, before going to bed. As usual. But his hyung was feeling odd that night. His hyung was worried and looked at Minghao like one would look at a precious thing that needs to be kept in a string around the neck, next to the heart, so it would always be safe, never harmed. That night Soonyoung felt a strange connection with Wonwoo and Jeonghan. They were all trying to save their lovers from their tortured past. They were all realizing it wasn’t up to them. And they were all feeling cruelly powerless.

All they could do...

... was giving them love.

Soonyoung smiled at Minghao and kicked the gamepad from the younger’s hands. Without a word, he pulled him to his embrace and locked their lips. They stayed like that until sleep took over their bodies and the night continued, anxious and silent.

 

 

 

Seungcheol was standing at the hallway. He sighed deeply and let his head fall in his hands. _This is too much_ , he thought. _How am I supposed to lead them through what’s coming?_

He felt a hand slipping under his shirt, tracing smoothing circles on his back.

“Calm down, you young stressed-out _dad_ ” Jihoon whispered, smiling and reassuring “Your kids will be fine”  

 _Everything will be fine, yes_ , the leader repeated to himself.

 

_Everything will be fine._


	7. Chapter 7

**VII.**

_Many years ago_

 

“Seokminie! Not again!”

The little raven-haired boy could hear his older sister yelling at him from the distance. 

It was late for a seven year old to be out there, on a dark winter evening, lost and tipsy, trying to find the ball he shoot away way too hard from his family’s yard to the slippery slope woods right behind it. 

“Why did you insist on playing right now?” 

Seokmin could still hear his sister’s endless nagging.

“We are gonna be late for dinner and Mom and Dad will be pissed if they lose the appointment at that new chinese restaurant or whatever they kept blabbing about the whole week! Damn you, kid!”

Seokmin didn’t want to upset his parents, even though they barely payed attention to him, way too absorbed in workload. He would rarely see them. But he did want to go to that restaurant that night because apparently it belonged to a family with another kid his age and he really wanted to meet him! A new friend! He was always so happy to make new friends.

But the boy couldn’t see anything in the dark, let alone a dirty black and white ball and his body was starting to tremble from being too cold outside, from fear and stress, even though he was yet too young to understand this last concept. His sister wasn’t helping, still yelling at him from above. They could have simply let the ball there and try to find it in the morning but the thing was, it didn’t belong to them; Seokmin had thrown a fit so her sister would ask her boyfriend to let him borrow it. He didn’t understand teenagers that well but he knew that if the ball was lost or robbed next morning, his sister would look worse than that blue-haired man that spitted fire from Hercules (wasn’t his hair also fire?).

He kept walking down the woods, deeper and deeper until he couldn’t hear his sister anymore. Eventually, he spotted something roundy, next to a glade, that looked just like what he had been looking for. Finally! _Nice, Seokmin!_ , he thought to himself, a beautiful bright grin showing up in his face while he walked towards the object. It was strange though, how could have it ended up so far away from his house? Was he getting stronger? 

“Wow! Ahah, I’m getting stronger!”

The boy didn’t notice the shadow creeping behind him while he was crouched, picking up the ball, nor he felt it sliding from his limp arms after struggling against a gloved hand pressing alcoholic gauze over his breath.

He also didn’t hear the sticky voice slithering disgustingly through the air of the night.

“Oh yes, what a strong boy you are.”

 

 

“...H-hey...” 

Seokmin couldn’t open his eyes properly, his body was drowsy and everything looked so distorted; he had no idea where he was but he could sense something moving. Was he moving? Not really, but it sounded like he was inside a truck and it smelled bad. Like piss.

“...Hey!...”

Someone was whispering and poking his arm.  
The boy brushed his eyes and tried his hardest to adjust to his surroundings. This was what he gathered: he was inside a van. A packed van, full of scared kids. They all seemed to be as old as he was and he could even recognize a few faces from seeing them on the streets. Some of the kids were still knocked out, others shaking in a corner, sobbing quietly.

By his side, there was a boy, still poking at his arm, trying to call his attention.

“Are you okay?” he kept whispering

“I think so?”

“Shhh!” The other boy covered Seokmin’s mouth, looking around, as if a viper was about to jump on them. “Don’t be so loud, they can’t know we are awake and talking.”

“... _They_?...” Seokmin tried to adjust his voice like the other’s.

“I feel them coming” The other boy raised his head like an alarmed puppy. “My name is Mingyu, by the way. What’s yours?”

“S-seokmin...?”

“Nice to meet you Seokmin" The boy smiled a bit before glaring his eyes to the door of the truck, where they could hear footsteps approaching, and looked back at his new friend. “They are coming and we need to fake we’re sleeping, ok?”

Before Seokmin could answer, Mingyu covered them with what looked like some old, raggedy hoodie, and pressed his fingers on the other’s mouth.

The van’s door opened suddenly and they sensed someone being thrown inside, as if the person was a sack of potatoes and not an actual human being.

“Hope you learned your lesson, _chinese_ kid.” A petrifying voice barked so loud the van was shaking, frightening the - few - conscious boys still in there. Then, the door closed in a blast and a few seconds later the ignition was turned back again.

Mingyu pulled the hoodie from their heads so they could peek at the boy.

He was coughing and spitting blood to the floor, while mumbling - Seokmin presumed - curses in Mandarin. 

“混蛋*!” He yelled before coughing more blood. (* húndàn = bastard, son of a bitch)

“Hey” Seokmin murmured to him, holding the hoodie - or what was left of it - “Come here.”

The kid glanced at them with some initial distrust. His face was completely bruised, his mouth a pool of blood, his eyes too swollen they could barely open. It was a very disconcerting image. A child should never have to deal with wounds like that.

“Maybe he can’t understand korean?” 

“I can.” The boy replied, barely audible and started crawling to them. “Thank you.”  

“I’m Seokmin and he’s Mingyu”

“Minghao” The boy whispered back. “I would say nice to meet you but...” 

“Where are we?”

“No one knows” Mingyu said. “All we can agree with is that we were all kidnapped or something.”

“They are a gang.” The chinese boy replied.

“What?”

“I think they were, at least. When I refused to speak to them in korean, they dragged me outside to...” He pointed at his face since it was quite self-explanatory and he didn’t need to add anything else for the other boys to comprehend. “Some of them were tattooed but all of them had like... a flower? On their hands?”

_A flower?_

"It was weird because it looked... twisted. Like two different ones together. I don’t know how to explain. Maybe it’s not that important.”

Seokmin was about to say _Of course it’s important if they all have it!_ but suddenly one of the other boys in the van, one of the few conscious ones, unleashed a sickening screech and started scratching the walls histerically, blood flowing in the place of his nails.

The three other boys pulled him back to the ground, struggling with his arms, trying to cover his mouth. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

“They are gonna take our brains!”

_What?_

“They are gonna kill us and sell our organs! I saw it! I saw it on the TV and-”

A slap crossed his face to stop him from continuing. The trio looked at their side and saw a boy, really thin, who seemed just a bit older than them. 

“They might kill us if you keep doing that.” The strange boy said. “But sell us... Yeah. Not our organs though. They want us whole.”

“What do you mean?” Mingyu asked.

“When they opened the door to kick that chinese boy, I could see a bit from outside. We are really far away from Seoul.”

“And how the fuck can you tell that?”

“You see, I can read. I saw a sign outside. We are very close to the frontier with the North.”

 _North... Korea..._?

“I don’t underst-” Someone was trying to say. But the van suddenly stopped and all the doors opened. Four men appeared, kicking them all to the ground outside, waking up the remaining unconscious kids by force. There was another van closeby where the same was happening. _How many kids were there? Who were these men?_

Seokmin lifted his head a little only to have it smashed back to the gravel by a heavy, merciless boot.

“None of you fuckers dare to look up” He recognized the voice to be the barking one from before.

Then, a horrid sound, a morph of a hiss and a demonic laugh, sticky like mucus, declared:

“We will... finally... proceed to the _ritual_ ”

_What?_

 

Said ritual consisted in the following: All the boys were lying down with one of their arms layed ahead. The men were walking around, sometimes kicking them, other times, stepping on them until a frightening mixture of laughter, screaming and bones cracking, could be heard. Seokmin was wondering if this is what they called _sociopaths._ He had learned the word on TV while his sister was watching some crime show. He asked her what that meant but she told him to knock off because her boyfriend was about to arrive and she didn’t want him hanging around. So the boy tried to google it but his search showed way too many words he couldn’t understand.   
Now, he was sure what that word meant.

At some point, they could hear a hiss, like something being burnt. And then, more boys screaming. And more laughter.  
  


Seokmin was about to throw up when two pairs of feet approached him.

“These three. They come from Seoul, right? Even the chinese one.”

Someone might have nodded, because there was no reply they could have heard.

“Mark them at the same time, then” The man giggled.

_Wait, wh-_

And suddenly, three hot, burning neon-orange irons, in the shape of crosses, pressed against each of their skins, hissing so loudly, they couldn’t hear their own howls of pain. 

Then, Seokmin heard more laughter and giggles, fiend and lunatic and cruel.   
He lost his senses at this point.

 

When the boy regained them, he was moving again. But... someone was carrying him? And running?!

“Oh my god, oh my god, what do we do now?!” Minghao was yelling.

“Keep running and shut up!” Mingyu yelled back. “Oh, Seokmin is awake!”

“I... t-think...”

Mingyu stopped in his tracks and moved a bush, next to a glade in the woods. _Wait, they were in the woods?_  
The boy fell on his knees, gently, so Seokmin could slip from his back and rest on the ground. “We don’t have much time. We need to keep going.”

“That’s nice but WHAT HAPPENED?” The half-awaken boy demanded.

“Shushh” Minghao covered the other’s mouth. 

“Ok dude, look at me” Mingyu grabbed Seokmin’s face “We don’t have much time so, long story-short...”

“... we are on the run being persecuted by a mass of angry psychopaths and their dogs because at night...”

“At night? How long have I been knocked out?”

“The rest of the day, we let you rest, now please SHUT UP AND LET’S START RUNNING, DAMN!”

Mingyu pulled the two boys back to the path they were taking before and the trio ran and ran because their lives - quite literally - depended on it.

“Nice one on pulling that trick by the way, Mingyu” 

“I love how you’re complaining when that exact trick took us OUT OF THERE!”

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AT NIGHT?!”

“You see,” Minghao started, struggling for breath, “our little friend here realized he had a screwdriver on his pocket and jammed it in some guy’s eye that was making his watch-”

“Why did you even have a screwdriver with you?!”

“I’m a man of many talents.”

“No, you’re a kid? And an idiot?! We are just kids!”

“- and then he picked up the burning thing they used to mark us like pigs and he attacked some other guy in the face”

“Oh my god...”

“Then he grabbed you god knows how-

“I said I was a man of many talents.”

“- and we ran. The end.”

Seokmin was still trying to compute all the information he just received and also, perhaps, trying not to screech in incredulation, when they reached a ravine.

Dead end.

The ravine wasn’t too high but they had no idea how deep was the water from the river that passed there and, most of all,

“What happens if we jump?!” Minghao asked histerically.

“I don’t know??” Seokmin looked at the fissure and gulped before grinning bitterly. “Probably die?”   
  
“We are gonna die anyway if they catch us” Mingyu said grittily, grabbing the other boys’ arms and pulling them closer to him. “And that kind of death would be a lot worse, don’t you think?”  
He took a deep breath and looked ahead. Then,

He jumped.

And the three boys screamed.

 

 

Air. Lack of it. Water. Tons of it. Distorted sight. Shapeless forms. Light. A really, bright, blinding light. Was this the end?

 

 

The birds were chirping outside when Minghao woke up. He looked around. They were in a room, a very cosy one, in fact. There was a fireplace and they were warm, envolved in blanket burritos. Their clothes had changed to simple coords of black sweaters and matching pants. Their wounds were bandaged and taken care of. Seokmin and Mingyu were still sleeping next to him.   
_I think we survived_ , Minghao thought. _If I died, I wouldn’t end up in heaven for sure._ He smiled and shook the other boys up “Guys! Guys! We are alive!”. Mingyu and Seokmin were so dizzy and lost but, suddenly, warmth and reassurance hit them. They hugged and cried and laughed. Their laughter was the most beautiful sound the sky had heard that day.

“Good to see you are awake.”

The trio turned around, startled. 

A woman, not too young but not too old either, foreign, with gray eyes and ginger hair, was looking at them, from the door. Her eyes were cold but the nice sort, like a fresh breeze on a summer evening. She smiled, yearningly.

“You can call me Madam. This is the Orphanage.”

Seokmin, Minghao and Mingyu. Three boys whose lives had been bereaved from them in such a short amount of time. Seokmin still remembered eating pancakes two days before even though it seemed like it happened ages ago. But now the taste was different and it would always taste different henceforth. 

“I will be taking care of you from now on.” She said, turning around to leave.  
  
But she stopped before saying:

“You brave, beautiful boys. I will be rooting for you.”

And the door closed behind her.

 

 

Those boys grew up strong, diligent, but very torn and lost. Their memories were nothing but mere fragments they couldn't understand very well, some would haunt them at night, some would end up supressed in their minds. 

They spent most of their childhood and teenage years trying to make sense of what happened that day and who were those men who had ripped them from their lives. Madam treated them well, they lived as comfortably as they could manage; the thought of returning home to find their families would cross their minds from time to time. But they had no idea where to begin, they didn't even know if their parents would recognize them, most likely they considered their sons to be dead and if they showed up maybe they would be shooed away and seen as imposters; at this point, both parts were simply strangers merely connected by blood. Was that even worth it? They weren't sure, but battled against those thoughts daily. 

The three boys wanted to be strong and as independent as possible. They would practice and train together every single day; the mere thought of being vulnerable again was something they couldn't bear to even conceive. It tormented them. It was everything they didn't want to be. And that's precisely how they ended up so skilled and agile so soon and also extremely useful to gangs, even though they never joined one. They only wanted to work as a trio and, at night, they would run away from the orphanage to execute their own little missions, mostly justice by their own hands. 

Until one day, the deadly flower found them. And their simple lives were robbed once more, that night. A night of smoke, ashes and burnt flesh. 

A night so bloody and infernal all they could do was run as fast as they could. Run. Run. Run. Through blood and dirty rain.


	8. Chapter 8

**VIII.**

Seokmin woke up startled, holding onto his chest. He couldn’t breathe.   
_Fuck, flashback nightmares again.  
_ He looked at his side, relieved to find Wonwoo still deep in sleep. _Thank god_.

The boy breathed deeply. Four seconds in, seven seconds holding, eight seconds out… At some point his eyes were feeling heavy again, his heart humming a bit more quietly and he turned around, ready to fall asleep once more. 

He tried to ignore the insurgent warm tear running down his face.

 

 

 

_“Do you guys feel this smell too?”  
_

_“Yeah. Looks like something is burning... But I don’t get where does it come from...”  Mingyu took a few steps and sniffed the air, Seokmin followed him. Minghao chose to turn around to check their backs. But.  
_

_“G... Guys...”  
_

_“Minghao, not now please.”  
_

_“No, guys... L-look...”  
_

_“Damn what the-”  
_

_The other two boys had turned to look at what Minghao was pointing at and their hearts sank in their stomachs; they felt sick but adrenaline was also rushing through their veins. Because what Minghao was pointing at, at the very top of a hill, not very far away from them, was the Orphanage. Engulfed in flames._

_And all their minds could do was to make them speed up towards it as fast as they possibly could, almost inhumanely, because maybe someone, anyone, could still be alive._

_They entered the house through a broken window, one by one, holding their collars on top of their mouths, even though their lungs were already intoxicated with smoke. They moved into the house in haste, helping each other at trying to avoid the fire and the pieces of burnt wood falling from the ceiling._

_But when the corridor opened to them and they reached the first hall..._

_“...N....N...o...No...” Mingyu tried to say, before purging to the ground. The other two boys were frozen on their feet, until one of them, Seokmin, fell on his knees, his eyes trembling, his mouth unable to produce any sound. And all they could hear was Minghao’s horrified screech, the crackling flames... and the sound of dripping blood.  
_

_Because there was no one to be saved._

_All that was left was pieces of flesh, hung in slaughter hooks. Flesh and corpses that belonged to their friends, their colleagues, people they shared meals, laughs, moments _with_... Madam..._

_Not a single person was left alive. Not a single body was left untouched._

_Not even the devil himself would paint a scene like that._

“No...No...NO! No... p-please...no!”

“Seokmin!” Wonwoo held his boyfriend tight, forcing him to wake up. The bedsheets were completely dampened in sweat.

“No... Why... Whyy...” The boy still screaming, still mumbling, still locked in his own nightmare. His sobs were heart-wrenching, the kind of sound one would listen at the gates of hell. Wonwoo would stab his own soul if it meant he could take him out of there.

“Seokmin, it’s me.” Wonwoo whispered, holding the boy even tighter in his arms. “I’m here, baby” He murmured against the other’s hair. “It’s okay... It’s okay... I’m here.”

Seokmin opened his eyes with struggle. They were bloodshot, exhausted, depleted from life. But he was breathing and eventually looked at his lover - who was still holding him so tight - and was about to cry again; this time not from scarring, but from relief. Wonwoo gently closed his boyfriend’s wet eyelids and kissed them. He kissed his temples and his lips and wiped all the tears left.

“It’s over, I’m here”

_He’s here_

Seokmin rested his head on his lover’s chest, his heartbeat and the deep reverberations of his baritone voice calming him like magic; then, he glanced at the moon with a tired, barely visible smile.

_He’s here._


	9. Chapter 9

**IX.**

“Do you guys…” Seungkwan asked hesitantly “… you know, _switch_?”

The two seniors and their dongsaeng were next to a little river, trying out some gadgets Interpol had sent them. Wonwoo almost let all the stuff he was holding fall in the water when they were hit by the sudden question.

“Does Hansol know you’re asking us this?” Seokmin inquired, while trying not to burst into laughter, with little to no avail.

“Ho ho ho I didn’t know you were a thing now!” Wonwoo grinned, way too amused “Seungkwan, is there anything you wanna share with us?”

Seungkwan’s cheeks stained as red as a tomato and he crossed his arms trying – very poorly – to hide his discomfort “We are not exactly a _thing._ ”

“C’mon Seungkwan, don’t start, you are totally a thing!” Seokmin was just openly laughing at this point. He turned to his boyfriend “I can’t believe you didn’t notice before.”

“Why do I keep having to remind people that I am not exactly the babysitter in charge?”

“You are kinda like Hansol’s babysit-“ Seokmin dared to start but decided to let his remark unfinished when he felt Wonwoo’s eyes burning his scalp.

“Well, that idiot never listens to me anyway so he’s Seungcheol’s problem now!” Wonwoo sulked while the other two were too busy rolling their eyes.

“But yeah, in fact we kinda do sw-”

“If you finish that sentence, I’m gonna throw you along with Seungkwan down this fucking river.”

 

 

“So, how did that go?”

Seungcheol was scribbling something when he saw them arriving from the river.

“Ever considered giving Seungkwan and Hansol some sexual insight before sending them to the field?” Wonwoo asked before disappearing into his shared room with Seokmin, leaving Seungcheol looking at the closed door perplexed.

“Where the fuck did that come from?”

Seokmin’s reply was a simple shrug and a walk towards his room, following his boyfriend.

“Actually… They are not wrong” Jihoon pointed out.

“Could you please not be a twat like them and tell me what the fuck is going on?”

Jihoon stood up, gathered his paperwork and let out a soft sigh before patting his lover on the shoulder.

“You should give more attention to what’s going on with your kids. And whether they matured enough to certain things or not and-”

“ _My_ kids? What about _your_ kids? Oh wait… WE DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”

 

 

Evening. The sun had already hidden itself from the world and the air was chilly outside. A chilly air contrasting with the warmth of laughter and fellowship.

Almost the whole gang was gathered in the basement, supposedly waiting for a meeting or plans to follow or some orders from above.   
But, you see, distractions and friendly, silly conversations, love and friendship are always the mana a fighter needs in times of war.

This time, Jeonghan, Soonyoung and Junhui were having a very fun time telling everybody embarassing stories about their senior comrades.

“Oh but that was before Wonwoo had that big crush on Seokmin and-”

“Aww babe, you had a crush on me… That’s embarassing.”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes. “Really? Memes, at this time?”

“You aren’t married though, that joke doesn’t work.” interrupted Chan, with a yawn and a very annoying bored-teenager tone in his voice.

“To be fair, they’re practically married by now” Mingyu pointed out.

“ANYWAYS” Seokmin continued “Still.”

 

“Shut up, you imbeciles”

 

They all turned around to watch their leader coming down the stairs into the basement to check how the planning was going. He wasn’t surprised to notice that the planning wasn’t occurring in any sense, at all.

“Pleased to see that no one’s doing their fucking job” He sent a particularly sarcastic smile at Wonwoo, who tried his best to ignore.

“Actually, we thought we had to wait for you? Aren’t you the leader?” Soonyoung said.

Ok, Seungcheol got it. Today was the everybody-is-up-to-anger-the-leader day.

“I’m just going to pass on the fact that all my members are dumb as a brick and can’t do anything by themselves, apparently” He continued “And ask you directly if any of you has a complain to make about my leadership. If you remain silent I will consider you a bunch of fucking cowards and I will tell Interpol we are all useless. Yes, me included, because apparently I failed at my job too.”

Everybody was looking around in a never-ending and silent “What the flying fuck?”

“Seungcheol, are you quite alright?”

“I asked you all a question.”

“Hyung, you’re the best leader we could ever hope for at a time like this.”

“We are just…”

“… worried about you…”

“… and how you keep us in the blind!”

Oh, now Seungcheol got why Wonwoo snapped at him that afternoon. He was mad because he thought he had decided to send the youngsters to the battlefield without them knowing what was going on and who they were up against. Silly Wonwoo.

They saw the leader press his eyebrows together. Then, he declared, very calmly.

“We are all here in Busan, yes. But some of you will not fight. Only the seniors will”

A sea of complains aroused, especially lead by Hansol and Seungkwan. Seungcheol held his hand in the air, ordering them to stop so he could finish.

“You guys will be part of the plan, yes, but at the sidelines. The senior crew will be the only one at the field, along with the outside agents.”

“But… _why_?”

“There are many things you would have to be aware by now” – He was measuring his words very carefully, he didn’t want to tell them they were “too green” or “immature”, he didn’t want them to think he was underestimating them. He was actually, and quite simply, looking after their safety – “and there is no time to prepare you for that. Simply trust us. That’s what a true gang… a family… does.”

Seungcheol never thought he would say what he was about to say.

“Think of this like a videogame. There is an enemy we gotta defeat. And we need an infiltration plan. The rest is up to the senior team but the rest of you will be essential for that plan to work. If it fails; everything falls apart. Do you understand?”

All the youngsters nodded, even Seungkwan, Hansol and Chan, although with some resistance from their part. That would have to be dealt later.

“Let’s do this, then. We need a plan to share with the Interpol this dawn. Are we all on the same page?”

A collective “Yes, sir” could be heard from outside.

 

 

The clock was hitting 4 A.M. 

A lot of the youngsters were either fallen on the floor, already too tired and asleep, or banging their heads against the walls because they couldn’t find a decent solution and their seniors, who had been drinking a few soju bottles to “loosen up” their _inspiration_ (more like _nervousness_ ), looked like they had confused the verb “ _planning_ ” with “ _playing_ ” at some point.

“Ok look, I don’t want to be this person but-” Wonwoo started.

“You totally want to be that person” Seokmin made sure to point out.

“… This plan is shit, sorry”

“What? If I crossdressed like that I would look cute as hell, you can admit already”

“Only if you called me Oppa”

There was an audible gasp followed by an “Oh my god” and the sight of Seokmin’s eyes widening, his teeth glowing behind a broadening and extupefacted smile before lunging forward, “You’re so not gonna get away with that anytime so-”

“Stop it already” their leader held Seokmin by the back of his collar and turned to Wonwoo, “Would you care to enlighten us with some ideas, then?”

Wonwoo grinned.


	10. Chapter 10

**X.**

“Project 97”, as a name, was as creative as Seungcheol could manage, apparently. Tragic. But it was the name of what they would put to action the next day, alongside Interpol agents. Wonwoo’s plan seemed perfect and the Interpol approved it successfully, with a few affinations here and there.

In any case, it was the day before a dangerous mission. The most dangerous the majority of them would face. So, partying before the eventuality of the world’s end seemed more than appropriate.   
The gang was loud, the smell of fun and booze pulsing in that house they temporarily occupied, in the middle of nowhere. Just another abandoned house, like the ones before. The ghosts were invited to the party as well.

  
Seokmin and Wonwoo, on the other hand, were lying down outside, on the mossy green garden covered by dew, gazing at the stars.  
Wonwoo knew a lot about astronomy, to Seokmin’s surprise. _Actually, it’s not at all surprising_ , he thought, _a moony boy would obviously know his kin very well._ Seokmin smiled.   
Wonwoo was showing him the constellations of their signs, the northern star, so many stars, so many constellations, so many worlds. Wonwoo looked so beautiful, bathed by moonlight.  
 _ **He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand**_ , Seokmin remembered reading that in one of his boyfriend’s books.  
Fitting.

“You never told me about your family. Whether you found them after all.”

Seokmin shut his eyes. He didn’t want to talk about it but, truth be told, he would never want to talk about it and his lover knew that too. But he needed to know, regardless.

“Remember when we talked the first time?” Seokmin asked.

“How could I forget?” Wonwoo let a small laugh escape from his lips. “Or else, when you caught me.”

“Actually, I knew you had been following me for a long time, you know?”

Wonwoo frowned in embarassment. It was cute. “Yeah, I had an idea.”

“Didn’t you notice I was a bit out of my usual route?”

Now that Seokmin mentioned it… Wonwoo did remember noticing how strange it was to find the boy going to that place on that day.

“I was searching for my family.”

Wonwoo looked startled at that.

“I learnt that day that they were gone.“ Seokmin continued “I was told that they moved many many years ago.”

Seokmin stopped to look at Wonwoo in the eye before continuing. Wonwoo’s eyes were glazed; he was trying his hardest not to cry. Wonwoo’s empathy was one of the most beautiful things Seokmin had ever seen. “It was nice to finally talk to you that day, you know” The boy searched for the other’s hand, locking their fingers together. “I guess… I felt particularly lonely. And your presence was reassuring and familiar, as if I had known you for years.”  
“Later, when Mingyu arrived, he told us a few things he gathered while we were separated.” Seokmin paused and brought their locked hands to his lips, kissing Wonwoo’s fingers. “Those things confirmed what I thought but tried so hard to brush away: they were wiped out. Our families… All of them. How naive of us.”

Wonwoo gulped and pressed his eyes shut for a while. Then, he finally spoke.  
“Still, you held to the last string of hope. And that’s okay.”

“We kind of… Already knew… Deep down. It wasn’t particularly shocking…You know all that comes after, I think.”

Yes, Wonwoo knew pretty well. He was also familiar with Seokmin’s nightmares, those horrid flashbacks that haunted not only him but the other boys too. Even though it helped to finish the puzzle, by putting all the different pieces from those three different tortured minds, it was awful. All of it. Seeing his lover suffer wasn’t worth it in the slightest. Wonwoo was torn apart everytime he realized how much Seokmin suffered, everytime he would wake up screaming in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, everytime his laugh would falter because something triggered a flashback from the past.

“And… Do you all have nightmares from that day? Still? The three of you?”

“Yes. Almost everyday.”

Wonwoo looked horrified and astonished. Seokmin smiled comfortingly “We got used to it by now. There isn’t much that could upset us anymore” He reassured, still smiling and touching the other boy’s jaw, gently.

 

“Oh, I have recurring n-nightmares too!” Seungkwan appeared suddenly “Sometimes I dream there is this weird g-gurl on the other side of the werld writing our lives?!” He stumbled and almost fell with his face right on the floor. “And worst of all, othr peeps read it???”   
When he got up he could only see his hyungs’ faces slightly distorted by the alcohol, staring at him, blinking.  
“What?! It’s terrifyin’!”

“Ok, who the hell got Seungkwan drunk?”

“I’m n-” The boy tried to reply but all they could hear was the loud and gobbly noises of his stomach sobbing a.k.a. vomiting.

“Definitely less soju for you, my guy.” Wonwoo noted.

Seokmin nodded.

“Definitely”


	11. Chapter 11

**XI.**

“Have you heard?”

Three files were thrown to a metal table, in a sharp noise.

The shadowy figure of a large man, barely seen by the dull light of the suffocating room, raised his fists to lit up a cigar. The puffs of smoke curled around the two men, tarnishing their surroundings. 

“I have... indeed.” He twisted his mouth quickly into a smirk, his laugh growing murderously. His sticky fingers grabbed the files, turning them one by one.

“Are you trying to tell me... that those kids who escaped the _Narmone,_ thirteen years ago...” The loathsome man continued, pointing at the files with disdain “... grew up into this? A trio of _pretty boys_?”

“You shouldn’t underestimate them. _At all_.”

The other replied with a sarcastic snort.

“We never found them that night, when we raided the house.” He said. “What a gorgeous night” The monstrous man added with an explosion of laughter so horrendous, the man he was talking to shivered visibly, adjusting his glasses nervously. “The people there were screaming like pigs” The man continued, pleased to see he had an effect on the person in front of him. “Leaving them in slaughter hooks was more than fitting, don’t you think?”

There was no reply. The man in glasses simply gulped. The other continued.

“But that night their asses were out of our reach, yet again. Never thought this was what we would be looking at if we had found them.” He glanced at the photographs on the files once more before smashing his cigar on top of them.

“You are forgetting...” The other man replied. “They were raised by _Madam_ , after all. I’m pretty sure she provided them the environment and the tools to create the fighting machines they are now, even though the kids never realized it.”

“Oh! Yes. The undercover interpol agent, right?” He smirked viciously “I think I still remember her screams... delicious”

The other man looked around and coughed a few times, trying not to lose his composure.

“Regardless of that,” He replied to the savage in front of him. “She was the agent you guys were suspicious to be around you the first time you planned to sell the cargo to the North” He continued. “Apparently, she remained there and would rescue lost and abandoned kids.”

“Just like that one man in Seoul. _Leader_ , wasn’t he?”

“Oh yes, you were not only forgetting _Madam_ but also  _Leader_. These kids were raised and trained by them. Even though Leader’s job was a bit different than Madam, he was literally creating an army while Madam acted more like a spy.”

“ _Madam_ and _Leader_... Yes... that guy was also an agent” The brutal man seemed to realize.“These interpols don’t know how to choose decent code names, do they?” He spat to the ground with a grunt. “R*tards”

“Well, they know how to hide their identities pretty well, if you ask me. Even from their _protégés_.” The other said, looking over his glasses. “Anyway” He continued with a deep sigh. “She happened to be there, that third time you and your men failed. And it's funny how you are so quick to overlook growned up young men who surpassed your trained squad when they were merely seven years old” 

“That woman was careless, though. We ended up finding where the three little pigs were.”

“More than ten years later. And you failed again. Amazing.” Now was the time for him to snort back sarcastically. “Your atrofiated brains couldn’t even solve the fucking riddle and realize who were the two agents with their eyes on your moves. If you had realized sooner you would have known where the trio was.”

“We managed to kill one of them and the other probably rotted by himself” The man behind the table closed his fists in irritation. “I don’t understand the point you are trying to make”

“My point... you fucktard...” The other replied, keeping a safe distance. “Is that those two left behind a _legacy._ And a legacy way superior than you and your hand-tattoed men could imagine.”

“How dramatic” The man laughed dreadfully. “To me, those kids are still nothing more than cattle that was supposed to be sold to North Korea... and that we let escape.” He shrugged. “They must still have their cross-shaped burn scars on their arms... It will be amusing to check it after we kill them and step on their bodies.” His voice was filthy and ghoulish.

“Yeah. Believe in that if it brings you solace.” The other replied, rolling his eyes. “And, by the way, what was the _ritual_ that maniac kept blathering about?”

“He was just... overly-theatrical.” The other man said with a smirk. “It was exactly that. Marking the stockpile before they crossed the frontier.” The man in glasses was about to turn his back to leave but 

“Oh, and also!...” 

He looked back at the freak behind the table

“... To discard the weaklings.”

“Do you mean...”

In a frenzy, the man released the most atrocious, savage laugh that night could have ever heard. Just like that one other night, more than ten years ago. That night plunged in flare and horror.

 

 

 

_“We need to split.”  
_

_“Are you out of your fucking mind?!”_

_“Listen Mingyu, I know this sounds crazy but it’s the only way! They might be lurking somewhere nearby and they will track us down easily if we stay together!”  
_

_“This is insane.” It was all Minghao could bring himself to mumble._

_“I would never leave you guys behind, for fuck’s sake!” Seokmin glanced at them awestruck and aghast “I can’t believe the thought even crossed your minds!”_

_“Then what exactly is the meaning of this?”  
_

_“Mingyu... We will meet again...”  
_

_The trio remained silent for a while. It was raining that awful night; they were drenched, lost, terrified, forfeited. At a certain point, they couldn’t tell apart raindrops from tears._

_“Please, brother. Trust me on this.”  
_

_Seokmin brought his hand to his back pocket and retrieved a switchblade. Then, without taking his eyes from his companions, he rolled up his left sleeve._

_The others understood what their friend meant. It was a secret, a silent message, between them. They grabbed their own switchblades and mimicked the other’s gesture._

_At the same time, in a perfectly synchronized choreography, they brought the blades right to the top of what remained distinctive of their cross-shaped scars. At the silent count of three, the blades slashed the sensitive skin and blood flowed from their arms, down to their hands and fingers._

_Then, they locked their wrists together, in a pact. They may not have been brothers born from the same mother, from the same blood. But they would mingle their own blood, if that was the case. That was the meaning of a blood pact to them._

_“We will meet in Seoul, at our own paces. I will take the fastest route and try to arrive there before you, to test the waters. After me, Minghao should arrive. And then, you, Mingyu.”_

_****When we were little we made houses out of cardboard boxes.** ** _

_“If I find any of you dead when I arrive there, I will personally dig you back from your graves and kill you again.” Mingyu retorted, between tears and a bitter smile. The others joined him._

_**We can do anything.** **It's not because our hearts are large, they're not.** _

_Seokmin cupped each of his friends’ faces and patted them, fondly._

_“Do you understand?”_

_**It's what we struggle with.** _

_Their reply was a silent hug. And that could be their last hug, for all they knew. They didn’t remember shedding tears like those since they were little and arrived at that house, once called Orphanage, that was now just a lump of ashes in their past._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> » END OF ACT 2 «


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be entirely dedicated to every single one of the five ships.  
> It's like a gift from me to whoever stuck until now, still reading this, after all the angst and pain from the previous acts (... and before what might be coming next...)
> 
> Please note that I don't write smut or explicit stuff, it's just something I am not comfortable at.  
> I'm more into implied, sensual erotica and I also feel like it fits my writing style more.
> 
> Anyway, regardless of what you were expecting, I hope you enjoy!

**Blood and Dirty Rain**  
_Seokwoo bad boys!AU_  
Act 3

**XII.**

That same night, during the party, before the plan was put into action, five pairs of hearts were clenching, eager for one another, as if an apocalypse was imminent, ready to cut their red strings of fate and consume one of their other halves in it.

 

Wonwoo’s fingers found Seokmin’s scar, began tracing it further down, right below his elbow, reaching a maze of cutting scars on top of the burnt one that was once shaped like a cross. _A rosary of small soft knots_ or perhaps a spiderweb. No, the whole thing together looked just like a lightning scar. And what Wonwoo knew about them was that they were beautiful. Seokmin broke their kiss to look down at his arm. His hands trembled a bit against Wonwoo’s hips.

“Hey...” His hyung murmured, reassuringly, planting a kiss on his forehead. “It’s beautiful”

“How can you find it _beautiful_?”

“If you loathe it so much why did you avoid the place when you were getting tattooed? You could’ve easily hid it if you hated it.”

Seokmin closed his eyes, taking a sharp breath and shook his head just a bit.

“I don’t hate it. I just can’t find it beautiful.” The younger buried his face on Wonwoo’s shoulder. “It’s a reminder and a shrine of promises, all at once. That’s why I don’t want it covered.”

They stayed like that for a while. Wonwoo sensing his lover’s scent. He smelled like freshly cut gardens, the smell of rain on a summer night, clean bedsheets that just came out of the laundry, the warmth of a fireplace with a crackling fire jumping on the logs. Was that the scent of sunshine?  
He looked at the sky, through the window. “The moon looks really bright tonight”

“Yeah” Wonwoo felt Seokmin smiling against his skin, before biting it softly “And I think it’s my time to worship it, isn’t it?”

 

Wonwoo tilted his head, muttered in Seokmin’s ear. “More, give me more please.”   
The younger wanted to keep the dragged pace, snaking his body in slow motions, and teased the older “I will give you just a bit” Seokmin whispered, teeth scraping the other’s spine, tracing patterns on his tattoos. Wonwoo closed his eyes to feel the other’s lips on his back. “You’re merciless. I will get my revenge next.”

Seokmin smirked against his hyung’s inked skin before he pulled out and reached over to roll Wonwoo on his back. “I want to see your face” He murmured on a shallow breath, pulling Wonwoo’s hair just a little to dive into a kiss. Seokmin’s tongue slipped into Wonwoo’s mouth and he moaned softly.

Wonwoo arching against the bed as Seokmin thrust into him was hypnotic, spellbinding. The younger focused on the scarlet tinge over his cheeks, on how his eyebrows creased. His entire face softened; his lips half-parted, soggy and swollen, his eyes begging for more. Seokmin lunged forward to suck at his collarbones, at his neck and chest, bruising him slightly. 

 

“Still wanna get your revenge?”

“Oh, I will. I better test your stamina for tomorrow. Let us just “cooldown” and we begin right after” Wonwoo winked.

“Aren’t you forgetting the tiny little detail that that’s gonna take a while? The “cooldown”, I mean.”

“We have the whole night.”

Seokmin gasped dramatically, teasing his boyfriend. “I’m shook.”  
Then, he laughed beautifully.

 

* * *

Seungcheol threw himself over the bed. He could still hear the buzz from the party shaking the whole house.

“For fuck’s sake”

He felt Jihoon approaching silently, like a cat.

“I’m exhausted” He whined to the younger boy.

“Oh... are you, really?” 

Seungcheol felt a pair of hands creeping inside his shirt.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

Jihoon motioned the older to roll and lie on his back. He started unbuttoning his shirt, assuring his fingers would ghost on the other’s skin, making him shudder earnestly.

“I said I was exhausted”

“And I heard you the first time.”

Jihoon ignored Seungcheol’s complains and trailed a line of kisses on the other’s chest, his lashes fluttering on his skin. He felt his hyung’s pulse quickening, his breathing getting shallow.

“I don’t think you comprehend, I’m about to have a seizure.”

“No, you’re not.” Jihoon reached the buckle of the older’s belt. “You are just dizzy, aren’t you?” He said with a smug look on his devilish little face.

 

“We can’t do this” Seungcheol insisted, already way too late, between moans and broken whimpers. “T... tomor-row is a b-big day, we-”

“That’s exactly why we should be doing this above anything else.” Jihoon answered resolute, bending down to press his lips against the older’s jaw, while thrusting steadily and lusciously.

“And I want you right now. Do you understand?”

 

* * *

"Hyung... Stop looking at me like that.”

“Why?”

“I’m... a bit embarassed”

Soonyoung stripped himself of his shirt, exposing his upper body and leaving the jeans, belt and boots still intact.

“And why exactly?” The hyung took a few steps closer, his naked torso’s muscles moving in a way that made Minghao’s mouth needy and thirsty; he prefered to look away to hide the red stain blooming in his face. Soonyoung was undeniably more experienced than him which made Minghao a little bit insecure every time they were in situations like this.

Soonyoung’s arms folded temptingly around the other boy’s hips, the corner of his mouth curling upwards into a smirk as he pressed it to the side of Minghao’s neck. He dragged his mouth higher, sucked his earlobe and whispered “There’s nothing to be embarassed about.” A warm hand sneaked under the younger’s shirt, sliding up across his skin. Minghao shivered a little at the sudden touch but it felt good, the older’s hands tracing alluring patterns on his skin.

“I guess...” Minghao managed to say, containing his ragged breaths while Soonyoung kept sucking at a spot on his neck. “I’m just a little nervous.”

Soonyoung smiled and stepped away, walking backwards, towards the bed, without breaking eye contact. He sit down and rested his face on one hand, his eyes still locked with Minghao’s, patient and assured. Then, he raised the other hand, fingers gesturing to the chinese boy.

“Get over here, then”

 

Minghao opened his lips to Soonyoung, letting his tongue slither into his mouth, hungrily. The younger boy couldn’t help but moaning at the sensation, as he grew hotter, the older grinding against him continuously. The weight of Soonyoung’s body felt good on top of him, the heat pooling under his skin, soaking his mind as he lost himself in the movements of their bodies.

There was no place for shame or insecurity in that moment, in his hyung’s embrace. He just felt safe and adored, while stars, shining like diamonds, blasted under his lids.

 

* * *

"How much longer will you keep sucking my neck?”

“Until I get all the blood I need”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes and laughed softly. “Still holding onto the Dracula persona, I see”. Mingyu smirked in reply, his canines shining by the street lamps. “Don’t you want to go inside?” He asked, combing a long strand of hair from his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Nope, I’m good here.”

The younger coughed audibly and repeated his question, scratching the back of his neck. “Are you _really_ sure you don’t want to go inside?... Hyung?”

Jeonghan knew exactly what the other was trying to do but acting dense and oblivious with his boyfriend at a time like this was too amusing to let the moment slide.

“No, I’m pretty sure I want to be outside” He replied, holding his earlobe absent-mindly and containing a giggle.

“Jesus Christ” He heard the younger hiss in exasperation, hands on his hips and looking at the ground while thinking. Then, he tilted his head, biting his lower lip, a smug look on his face.

“I’m sorry” He said, suddenly.

“Sorry for wh-” Jeonghan tried to ask but Mingyu had already picked him up over his shoulder and started running towards the house while laughing like a kid. Jeonghan’s protests were useless.

“For this!”

 

Mingyu reached the end of the staircase, opened his room in a whim, dropping Jeonghan on the bed, gently, but also wasting no time, settling himself over the older boy, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses at the curve of his neck. There was a series of ragged breaths before Jeonghan tugged his hair and pulled him closer, locking their lips in a deeper, intense kiss.

“You’re an idiot.” Jeonghan whispered, biting the other’s lips.

“Thank you, I try.”

Jeonghan slapped his face jokingly and Mingyu rubbed his cheek dramatically, letting go an “Ouch!”. Both giggled.

Then, the younger boy went serious for a while, making eye contact with his lover. “... You... really want this... right?” He asked, just to make sure.

His hyung laughed “Of course I want this, I was just messing up with you!” The other boy relaxed visibly. Jeonghan continued “Otherwise you would be spitting blood outside, without a few teeth...” Mingyu raised his hands, glaring at his boyfriend, amused but also seriously frightened. Jeonghan smirked, playing with Mingyu’s hair “Do you think I’m so easy to just carry around like that?” Mingyu tried to reply something, probably an apology, but his hyung was ahead of him. “But yes” He said, grabbing Mingyu and switching so he could be on top instead, stradling him. “I want this”. He bent down to smile against Mingyu’s lips.

“Especially tonight.”

 

* * *

“You can’t drink like this, Seungkwan” Hansol retorted, helping the other boy to sit down on a bench outside. “You know you can’t take alchohol that well, I don’t understand the point.”

Seungkwan threw his head back and laughed and laughed and laughed... Hansol just kept looking at him. “Are you finished?” He asked the drunken boy.

“K-kiss me”

“Wha...what?” Hansol felt his cheeks heating up and looked around, disoriented.

“Kiss meeeee...” The other boy insisted, lunging forward to sloppily grip Hansol’s black shirt.

“Shh... Seungkwan, stop.” The boy covered the other’s mouth but he started licking his palm instead, moving his lips slighly to start sucking on Hansol’s fingers, without breaking eye contact.

“Fuck.” Hansol gulped. “S-seungkwan...” But the other boy wouldn’t stop. “Seungkwan!” He yelled this time, reclaiming his hand from the other’s mouth, leaving him sulking and pouting like a child. Hansol had to pause to regain his breath and composure and whatever state his heart was into before that happened.

“You never give me attention” Seungkwan protested suddenly.

“Are you kidding?” Hansol pressed his eyebrows together and sighed audibly before adding “I was with you the entire night.”

“No, you were n-”

“The entire fucking night!” Hansol cupped the other boy’s face “Until you disappeared, I had to go looking for you everywhere, only to find you vomiting next to the hyungs!”

“You were... looking for...m-me?” Seungkwan pointed at himself, opening his mouth in shock.

“Yes, I was, you fucking twat. Why did you drink so much?”

“Because I thought I could get your attention that way.”

“Well, that’s just idiotic Seungkwan" Hansol hissed, getting up from the bench. “And congratulations, you did it!”

He started walking out but he felt his jacket being grasped. Hansol turned around to find Seungkwan looking at the floor, biting his lips in desperation. “Please don’t go.”

Hansol kneeled in front of the boy, raised his chin to look him in the eye. “I want to be with you _that way_ too.” Seungkwan gasped, staring at him eagerly “But I want you sober when it happens.”

 

An hour and a half later, Seungkwan found Hansol at the “dj booth”, that was just basically a table and a laptop, where Chan was dropping some music. Hansol was helping him out to pick the next playlist.

“Come with me.”

“Seungkwan... What did I say?” Hansol replied, without taking his eyes from the screen. 

Since what he got as a reply was basically nothing, he eventually looked up and was surprised to find Seungkwan still there, looking at him intensily. He suddenly grabbed Hansol’s collar and locked their lips, sliding together warm and wet, as his tongue found the edge of the other’s mouth. But he was pushed away right after.

“Seungkwan...” Hansol started saying, one hand on his chest, trying to catch his breath. “... You’re really testing my patience...”

“Calm down. Look at me. I’m sober”

Hansol looked at him, tilting his head to the side and lifting an eyebrow.

“Jisoo hyung gave me water and told me to take a nap.” Seungkwan explained. Hansol looked at the corner of the house and found the hyung talking happily with Junhui. Good guy Jisoo.

Seungkwan was scratching his head now, looking vacantly at the floor. “Sorry... Nevertheless, I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

Hansol didn’t respond. He grabbed Seungkwan’s wrist and dragged him out of that room, out of the crowd and out of everyone’s sight, taking him to a flight of stairs.

“Maybe I should have asked before I kissed you.”

“Yeah, you should have”

“Should have asked?”

They entered an empty hall in the house. It was really dark, Seungkwan could barely see anything but he sensed the other boy opening a door and pulling him inside.

“Should have kissed me.”

And Hansol switched a light. They were in an empty room, with a bed. An empty bed. He was smirking and Seungkwan wanted to melt into a puddle and squeal histerically.

“C’mon” Hansol whispered, getting closer to him.

“Kiss me again, then.”

 

* * *

Wonwoo would never get tired of hearing Seokmin’s moans. He was always mesmerized by them, every time, as if it was their first. _This is how a moaning singer sounds like_ , he would always think, enthralled. It was like he was singing the most sensual tune Wonwoo would ever want to listen to.

“Are you okay?” The older murmured against the younger’s hair, while trying to catch his breath.

“Ye...ah...” Seokmin tried to say. “... t... think... so...”

“Good” Wonwoo replied with a foxy smile. He reached Seokmin’s toned stomach, sketched a line with his tongue and stopped next to his jaw. “’Cause I’m close but I want you to come before me” He added, in a ragged voice.

Seokmin didn’t reply. He gazed Wonwoo through long, dazzling lashes, and arched suddenly, his plump lips trying to say “...I’m...”

“Yes” Wonwoo licked a stripe on the younger’s jaw till he reached his ear “You’re so beautiful” he whispered, gaining shivers from the boy. “So worthy...” He continued, struggling for breath. “You deserve everything that is good in this world... you know that?” He went down to kiss Seokmin’s neck, feeling his pulse on his lips. “Your heart... is the largest I have ever seen”

The boy was a moaning mess beneath him, biting his own hand, either trying to contain his voice or trying not to cry. Wonwoo removed his hand from his lips, gently. “I want to hear...” Wonwoo was getting closer any second that went by; it was getting harder to speak. “... your voice. I want to hear it.”

Seokmin’s senses were clouding. He could still feel Wonwoo’s lips pressing against his ear, his voice deep, raspy and narcotic.

“Come for me.”


	13. Chapter 13

**XIII.**

_Narcissus_.  
Egotism.  
  
_Anemone_.  
Forsake.

“ _Embrace your ego or you shall be forsaken._ ”

It was just a bit past dawn when they assembled at the Interpol headquarters to meet the agents who were working with them and to refine the details of the plan. There were about six of them. A female agent was providing them the info they had gathered about the enemy they were about to face.

“That’s their motto and the meaning behind their palm tattoos.”

Wonwoo glanced at Seokmin. He looked calm but he knew the boy was blazing inside, about to break the neck of the first fucker from that repulsive gang who would show up his face to him. Seokmin’s composure frightened Wonwoo himself.

“At first it looks weird, like some corrupted mandala.” The woman continued. “But it’s actually just one flower crossed with the other.”

“Doesn’t Narcissus also mean something like _stay as sweet as you are_?” Minghao whispered to Soonyoung. The older was softly caressing the younger boy’s back, his arm hidden behind the chair, when he replied, amused. “Well, they obviously didn’t went down that path, did they?”

“ _Narmone_ … Their name sounds Italian.” Jeonghan commented.

The Interpol agent laughed sarcastically. “They wish they had the wits and the refinement of an actual Italian gang.” The whole crew looked at each other, slightly bewildered, before glancing back at the unusual agent in front of them. “Their boss probably thinks he’s some Don Corleone” She continued with a snort, ignoring their reaction. “How insulting.”

“Truly pathetic” An agent, a man in a suit and glasses, suddenly replied. “Their name is actually just the conjugation of the two flowers’ names in English.”

“Oh! I didn’t notice you arriving.” The woman stepped closer to the newly-arrived stranger. “Let me just introduce you quickly to our guys over here.” She placed her hand on the man’s shoulder before saying “This is Special Agent _Nine.”_

“Thank you for calling me, _Donna.”_

 _Donna? Was that her code name? Well, that explains her little moment before._ Jeonghan thought.

“He has a _peculiar_ status, like you.” She added with a smile.

“Don’t really belong but kinda do.” The man continued, smiling as well. “I won’t be fighting with you, though. I don’t have your abilities.”

“ _Nine_ is actually a psychiatrist, working on criminal profiles.” Agent _Donna_ added. “His help has been tremendously important to us, especially since we captured the First Boss.”

_What?_

“What do you mean? Captured the first boss?” Seokmin tensioned while he made the question, his eyebrow lifted. Wonwoo was afraid he was about to jump on them any second.

“I… Thought you had been informed?”

“As you can see” Seungcheol spit the words while lifting his arms to gesture at his gang, so she could see for herself their confusion. “No, we don’t know what the fuck is going on.”

“Our apologies, then. The current boss of the gang isn’t the same _you..._ ” She paused to glance at the three boys seated at the corner. “... dealt with.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Mingyu shouted, while Jeonghan pushed him back to the chair to calm him down.

Wonwoo squeezed his fist around Seokmin’s arm and forced him to look at his eyes, their foreheads pressed together. “Don’t you _dare_ do anything reckless.” He growled deeply, lowering his volume. “Do you hear me?”

Minghao looked a bit more collected. Just _looked_ , in fact. Because when he opened his mouth he yelled so loud the walls shaked, demanding an explanation, since _the only reason they were there in the first place was to rip off the head of whoever fucked up their lives and killed the people they loved._

A chilling silence filled the room before Mingyu raised his voice again. “Did you guys hid it from us so you could be sure we would help? Was that what happened, you fuckers?! _”_

“No, Mingyu.” The psychiatrist agent replied, calmly.

_What? How the hell did he know his name?_

“Don’t you really recognize me?” He asked with a smirk. “Because, like you, I also hate the idea that I can’t rip off his head myself.”

While nobody in the room could understand what was happening right in front of them, the three boys did. And jumped on their seats, muttering “You... you were there too...”

“I was, yes.” He walked towards them and kneeled down to look them straight into their eyes. “ _You see, I can read._ ”

 

 

 

“So, let me get this straight.” Jihoon, who had to leave the meeting before it ended to help the youngsters, was trying to gather what he missed. “The _Nine_ guy, was there, that day, with the trio?”

“Apparently they recognized him as a really thin boy who was just a bit older than them - that’s why his code name is _Nine_ , because he was nine when he was there - and who could read better than them.” Jihoon looked at him, baffled. “Or something.” Seungcheol added with a shrug.

“That’s... okay...” The younger paused, frowning confused. “But I thought Seokmin, Mingyu and Minghao were the only ones surviving the incident?”

“As you can see, they were not. _Nine_ explained that while a few kids were indeed sold... and even... discarded...” Jihoon shivered and sighed deeply at that, resting his eyes on one hand. “A few used the opportunity Mingyu’s _trick_ gave them to run away as well. But from those who tried to escape, only _Nine_  made it alive.”

“Jesus... Christ...”

“Oh, there is also the thing I forgot to tell you.” The leader continued. “ _Nine_ being the psychiatrist in charge, profiling the criminals, has been in contact with that other boss from their incident.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. He said it’s been really challenging not to kill him right on the spot.” Jeonghan included. “He said the guy was close to dementia! He thinks he’s still in charge and that _Nine_ is one of his subordinates or someone from the North who used to order him around.”

“So he uses that and plays along with him to retrieve as much information as he can from him. That’s how the Interpol knows so much at this point.” Soonyoung finished.

“But... the guy... is he trustworthy?”

“I think so, I mean... Jihoon, he was there too. He has that scar the trio has as well.” Seungcheol said, a little hesitant.

“I just don’t know how could he remain the slightest bit collected while he questioned that monster.”

“Alchohol, _my dudes_ ” Seungkwan suddenly showed up out of nowhere only to feel the other’s eyes fulminating him. “ _Hyungs_ ” Seungkwan corrected quickly. “Alchohol is the answer.”

“You didn’t learn your lesson at all, did you Seungkwan?”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever watched Kingsman?  
> The fighting scenes? They are great, aren’t they?
> 
> Since they already delivered the concept with the suits (https://youtu.be/X3kfCfYPjjw), now imagine those fighting scenes but with badass tattooed boys in full black coords and leather, probably some bdsm gear inbetween (don’t look at me), sexy cuts on their eyebrows and lips, hickeys from the night before, snatching knives, switchblades and guns out of thin air while tumbling.
> 
> An exquisite image, isn’t it? Now I want it to linger in your minds while you read the chapter ahead.
> 
> You are very much welcome.

**XIV.**

_If the mountain won't come to Muhammad, Muhammad must go to the mountain.  
_ And that was exactly their plan. 

The idea was to provoke the Narmone so they would invade Interpol’s secret headquarters in Busan. The only agents in there were the ones who would be working with them. They managed to leak their location and the fact that the _First Leader_ was in their hands. Maybe the others would take the bait and plan an attack in the name of their past leader; but since their motto involved ego and narcissism, perhaps their current leader would prefer to let the other rot in his cell? They honestly couldn’t tell what the Narmone would do. But Nine insisted that the plan would work out either way.

“And could you please enlighten us as to why, Doctor?”

“Agent. I prefer to be called agent.” Nine replied, crossing his arms. “And my answer is simple, one doesn’t need psychiatric knowledge to reach it: they are too dumb and blindly thirsty for violence. They would come even if only for pure enjoyment.”

 

 

“Leather pants?” Wonwoo noticed, admiring his boyfriend’s thighs. “Sexy.”

“Thanks.” Seokmin was distracted, more worried about packing up and charging the guns, managing all the stuff they needed but he did take a moment to reply, teasingly. “You look good in that bondage harness too.”

“Th-this is not a bondage harness!”

“Well it looks like one.”

“It’s not!” Wonwoo’s ears started burning, the red crawling to his cheeks. “My holster broke and this was the best we could find last minute. At least I can also carry knives in it.”

Seokmin turned around, sly and smug, and pulled one of the _new holster_ ’s straps, in a teasing gesture. “You look good, though.” And Wonwoo stopped breathing for a moment there to the point the younger boy thought maybe it was a better idea to walk away so his hyung could breathe properly. In the meantime, he pulled a lollipop from his pocket.

“Why... Why are you unwrapping a lollipop?”

“Why do you think?” Seokmin looked at him as if he had been asked the dumbest question ever. As if eating candy moments before battle was absolutely normal.

“Yeah, but _why_?”

“It calms my nerves”

“Oh.” Wonwoo bit his lower lip, thoughtfully. “If I knew that before I could have asked you to give me a-” Seokmin was now looking at him in a mix of shock and delight. “Oh my god.” Wonwoo was so red and embarassed he wanted to bang his own head against some wall.

“Oh my god, _indeed_.” Seokmin giggled, way too amused, looking at his boyfriend who seemed to be on the verge of an asthma attack. Again. “I mean, I like when you’re nasty but you need to read the situations and keep some thoughts to yourself" He was now laughing incontrollably, holding his belly and covering his eyes. “And I can’t believe I’m the one telling you that. Damn.”

The good news: Wonwoo wasn’t on the verge of an asthma attack anymore.  
The bad news: because it was replaced for a heart attack.

“I-I... Sorry! Like, I can’t believe I said it out lou-”

Seokmin approached him with a smirk and pressed a finger on his mouth so he would stop talking. He murmured.

“Later”

And Wonwoo combusted into flames right then and there.

 

 

Do you know how in action movies there is always a close-up scene of someone handing multiple people a ton of guns and weapons in a very fast pace? It’s usually really cool and thrilling. And well, that was exactly what was supposed to be going on before the battle, if only the youngsters weren’t nagging everybody to take them along. Seungcheol looked more like a very tired father, handing out dessert to his kids while telling his other kids that they couldn’t eat it because they were grounded.

There was a whole symphony of clicks, tightening sounds, sharpened blades, charged guns, grunts and the raspy hoarse breaths of everyone who was going to fight. They were pleased to know that the Narmone were too gullible to the point of, indeed, taking the bait. When the gang arrived at the site, the air rang with the chime of singing blades and the drumming shots of guns and revolvers.

 

Two thugs opened the building doors, pawing through chairs, stationary and tables as they looked for their prey. If only they had checked under one of them, where a knife-wielding hand suddenly lashed out, cutting one thug’s tendons. The goon screamed as he fell and his partner, holding a gun, crouched to carefully look underneath. But there was no one there. Confused, he glanced up just in time to see Wonwoo kicking him across the face. Hearing the commotion, two more goons crowded into the room. The boy ripped a metal leg from one of the tables to use it as some sort of sharp staff; not only did he take down those two men, he also drived it through the wall to pierce through another guy in the corridor.

Not too far away and still holding the lollipop between his lips, Seokmin took on one thug after another, using all the tools at his disposal. One guy got hit with an opened and empty vault door, while another got a face full of blood from a pen jammed in his eye. Needing both hands free, Seokmin took the finished lollipop stick from his mouth and dug it in another’s guy’s throat.  
“Hope you like cherry.”

 

Rolling back over a counter, Jeonghan swung some ceremonial jar - _Sorry, Interpol_ \- to knock out a pursuer. Mingyu was close to him, avoiding shooters, until he grabbed their own guns and made them fire against their jaws, his movements too quick for anyone human to fight back. In the meantime, anything Jeonghan touched became a weapon. The way they fought was already symbiotic, one covering the other without them having the utter a single word.

 

A man flew through an office glass door, shattering it. Pushing his hand further down a glove, Seungcheol grabbed a large shard to use as a glass blade. Jihoon approached him. 

“Is that really necessary? You’re gonna hurt yourself instead.”

“You do it _your way_ , I do it _my way_.” Seungcheol retorted and Jihoon’s eye quivered a little.

“Fucking idiot.”

They both took on a dozen Namore thugs, smashing the walls apart in the process. When every goon was down, Jihoon disarmed Seungcheol, who still carried his improvised glass blade, now blood-stained: the younger delivered a strong kick, spinning smoothly in the air, and shattered it, making it fall into pieces on the floor. Both unarmed, furious and dangerous, Jihoon and Seungcheol stared at each other, tense, their breaths flaming hot in frenzy.  
Then, they kissed.

 

After several minutes of attempting to get past Soonyoung's defenses, a thug lost his temper and began to bash him as if to strike him into the ground. The boy noticed that the goon had probably expected a quick defeat, not an equal opponent. _Pathetic_ , Soonyoung thought. When the weapon slipped past and slashed towards his throat, Soonyong dodged, laughing as if having a wondrous time. He praised loudly and sarcastically, "Great move!”. Then, he took a gun from his back holster and shot the guy without a single hesitation.  
“Sorry about that”. He said smugly, turning away. “It was nice to make your acquaintance but you were boring me already.”

 

Hansol thought desperately for a way out of the mess. They weren't senior fighters, but they were still part of a skillful gang connected to the Interpol. Which meant: They had trained so long for moments like this. Right?  _Right?_  
This was what happened: Hansol, Seungkwan and Chan decided that their leader’s orders were clearly not to be followed word by word, even though he _quite literally_  and _desperately_ expressed _multiple times_ otherwise. In a nutshell: they were dumb and decided to run away insted of doing what they were supposed to do with the rest of the youngsters and Nine. Remarkable.  
So they were about to be beaten up by a squad of Narmones and only at that moment they were realizing that maybe, _maybe_ , their leader was right by telling them to remain in the house awaiting orders.

Fortunately, like an angel sent from the gods above,

“What the fuck are you three idiots doing here?” 

That was Soonyoung howling at them. Minghao was running right behind him.

“Please don’t tell Seungcheol?... Please?”

The older rolled his eyes and turned to his boyfriend. “You take those three to a safer place, I handle the rest, okay?”

“No” The younger yelled “Hyung, please no!” 

But his hyung was already in a somersault, landing perfectly on the ground below and started to wipe up the maze of enemy men gathering there.

Minghao glanced at the three boys, who looked like they had just been caught robbing a museum, and snarled. “I hate you all.”

 

“Aww... why so serious?” Seokmin pouted, sarcastically. “Life’s short..." He continued, grinning and pressing one of his hands on a thug’s throat, more and more against the wall. His other hand was curling into a fist. “... you should smile while you still have teeth!”   
And before collapsing on the floor, the man said goodbye to his teeth.

Nearby, Wonwoo picked up a random laptop and smashed it into some guy. Just when he thought he was finished, he heard a shotgun pumping behind him. He turned to face one last enemy. 

But it was too late.

It was like watching the moon falling. A whole world being destroyed by the impact, in slow motion. As if being thrown into a nightmare impossible to wake up from. Like being stabbed over and over again by an invisible dagger. 

Seokmin’s screams were the only thing everyone heard on that facility. 

When Jihoon and Seungcheol rushed to his encounter, they found him, covered in blood, holding Wonwoo in his arms, and a pile of bodies around them, a result of vengeful rage and hysteria.

 

The moon was absent that night, on that dark abyss engulfing the sky.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**XV.**

_“They said they had do induce him into coma.”_

_“Nobody can see him right now.”_

_“His condition is critical.”  
_

_“He might not make it.”  
_

_“Seokmin, are you listening...?”_

_“Man, I know this is hard but...”  
_

_“Hold yourself... Please.”  
_

_“Seokmin...?”  
_

_“Seok...?”  
_

_“S...?”_

Seokmin wanted to die. It was as simple as that. He didn’t feel like sunshine, he didn’t feel any light inside of him. Actually, he didn’t feel like _anything_.

Someone was trying to speak to him. No, several people were. He could barely listen to their voices, his ears ringing in wrath and powerlessness. At some point he felt himself being picked up. It was probably Mingyu carrying him. Then, his body touched a soft surface. His bed?

“Hey, take these.”

Seokmin didn’t reply, his eyes unmovable.

“You need to sleep, _brother_.”

“Is giving him sleeping pills the best idea?”

“He will want to fight tomorrow. I know him. So, at least he should rest properly.”

 _Fight?_  
Oh yes, he wanted to fight. He wanted to burn everything down with the force of a blazing sun. Annihilate. To ashes.

He opened his hand, throwing his arm to a general direction. His eyes were fine but it was as if vengeance had blind him. He didn’t care about anything else. Brutal. 

Two pills fell on his palm. He swallowed them dry.

Then, someone pulled the covers on top of him and turned off the lights.

 

 

“Is he responsive?”

“Barely.” 

“Nothing at all, actually”

“I was talking about Seokmin.”

“We know.”

Seungcheol sighed, resting his face on his hands. After what happened to Wonwoo, he ordered the gang to fully retreat, cautiously. All the Interpol agents ended up in the hospital. Soonyoung gained some massive wounds, since he was outnumbered - thanks to the reckless behaviour of  _a few particular kids_  - so he was there too; but he was okay, unlike the dozens of goons he took care of, all by himself. Jihoon was pacing back and forth in the porch, biting off his nails, he was worried about Seokmin and Wonwoo. He was worried about everything, honestly. Jeonghan was at the hospital, dealing with burocracies, as in, shutting up whoever could spill the kind of people who were there being treated. It was a secretive government matter, after all. He was also alert to any developments on Wonwoo’s condition.

Now, the Interpol headquarters in Busan was completely in the hands of the Narmone that were left. They heard that their boss had arrived there during the night, to join them. _One more day_ , Seungcheol thought, _one more day_ and they could have cleaned them up.

“Leader”

Seungcheol was a bit surprised at that. The rest of the gang usually didn’t call him that way, at least not directly. Especially not Mingyu.

“We have a request” Minghao continued.

 

 

“No. Absolutely not. That’s completely out of question.”

“Listen, this is our mission now. Leave it to us. Just make sure the Interpol doesn’t interfere.”

“We are a fucking family Mingyu” Seungcheol remarked vehemently. “We are supposed to go all, together. Those who can still fight.”

“That’s not the point here.”

“At least let us do this for the sake of Seokmin. He will go berserk tomorrow when he wakes up.” Minghao argued.

“He will only see revenge in front of him.”

“I love how you are even considering taking Seokmin with you.” Seungcheol laughed sarcastically and sighed bitterly. He was so tired.

“We are not considering, we are gonna take him with us.” The other boy retorted back. “Or more like, _he is gonna take us with him_.”

“Yeah, are you kidding hyung? He’s gonna jump from that bed _and no one will stop him_.” Mingyu was on the verge of yelling at his leader and he was trying to control himself since he knew very well that wasn’t going to help their case. “He will even lead us, if I know him well.”

They tried to explain to their leader that, considering how things got personal now and since they were the only ones in the group who were involded in it as well, with their own personal vendettas, perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea to let them be the only ones taking care of it, without endangering any more members.

“That sounds insane, are you guys even listening to yourselves?”

“And you’re kinda forgetting our motto right now, _leader_.”

Their motto. All of them had it tattoed on their right arms.   
_Be the one to guide me, but never hold me down._

Seungcheol paused, breathing deeply, in a painful long silence.

“I can help them” They suddenly heard Nine saying. How long had him been there? “I know that place like the palms of my hands, I can guide them through.” 

“You can’t even fight?”

“Actually... I kinda can. Not like you guys, though. Still, I wasn’t going to help them _physically_.”

“What do you mean?”

Hansol approached them, quietly, holding what looked like some communication devices in his hands. Seungkwan and Chan were right next to him, their heads low, looking into the ground.  
They wanted to apologize.

“Agent Nine said we could help too and redeem ourselves”

“ _Agent Nine_ isn’t a priest and whatever you’re gonna do is up for me to decide!”

Everyone in the room had their eyes on Seungcheol. It was excruciating. No one wanted to be on Seungcheol’s shoes, not even _he_ wanted. Jihoon glanced at him from the doorstep, their eyes locked, until the younger shook his head affirmatively. Sometimes all he needed was someone to tell him that it was okay to trust. It was okay to give a chance.

“You are going to help them” The leader finally said, looking at the three penitent boys “But not for your sake!” He added, furrowing his brows. “This will be your punishment. You will know - hear - firsthand how is it on the battlefield and you will be terrified.” They visibly shuddered at that. “And I hope that serves you right.”

The three boys remained silent but every single one of them was exploding in excitement inside. They didn’t see that as punishment, in any sense. They were finally going to be of some help and that was everything they ever wanted.

“And what about the Interpol?”

“I will make sure they won’t interfere.” Nine quickly replied.

“This is absolutely insane and I can’t believe I’m going to let you guys do this. I am extremely reluctant, I want you to know that. But you mentioned some good points that I can’t ignore.” Seungcheol finally said. He wasn’t finished, though.

 

“I want you guys back, alive and whole, do you hear me?”

 

“And don’t you dare failing me.”

 

 

**☾   ☾   ☾**

_“Wonwoo? Wonwoo, open your eyes.”_

_Wonwoo woke up in a really white room.  
It wasn’t exactly a room, more like... a field. An endless, empty field, completely void of anything. There was no left or right, no going back or going forward. He was stuck. Did he die? _

_“Where am I?” Wonwoo tried to adjust his eyes to the brightness of the place. “Am I... dead?”  
_

_“No” A way too familiar voice answered. “Not yet.”  
_

_“Wh-what?” Wonwoo looked to his side only to see himself, his own younger self. “Wh-What the fuck?!” The figure started walking towards him, Wonwoo crawling back away, in horror. “What is this?”  
_

_“I am simply a product of your subconscience, Wonwoo.” His younger clone replied. “My shape changes according to what your mind thinks it’s the best for you.” And his body started changing to people Wonwoo knew. Leader. Seungcheol. Hansol. Then, he turned back to his initial form. “You see, our bodies and minds are made do protect us, even when we think they hate us.”_

_“Wait, that is the kind of thing I would say, I...”  
_

_“That’s because we are one and the same, Wonwoo.” The other crouched to gaze at Wonwoo face-to-face. “My shape might change; but we are one. And we are here all alone.”_

_“You asked what this place was.”_

_Wonwoo merely looked at him, fright and anxiety clear in his eyes. The other twirled around, stretching his arms._

_“This...”_

_“... Is the limbo.”_

_All those cases of near-death experiences? People who see themselves in an operating table, as they are about to die? People who see some surreal light coming to them? Wonwoo’s conscience - or subconscious, he was too confused to tell them apart - explained:_ _“Those are just fragments of them being here. It’s like when you wake up from a dream and, slowly, as you regain your senses, your mind cleans it up, forgets it. Even when you leave this place... That is,_ if _you will... You won’t remember this. But something will linger in your mind. “_

_“And why are you here?”  
_

_“You are in coma, Wonwoo.” The other rolled his eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing ever. Wonwoo looked around, in shock. “This is what happens when people undergo it.” The younger - and apparently way more wise -  Wonwoo lifted up and started walking away from him, hands on his pockets. “This is why it’s a state people are yet to comprehend.”_

_“Can’t I... contact with the other side? Whatever it’s called? Can’t I see them?”_

_His clone looked back at him, with a mocking smile._

_“There are no video calls in here, sorry to disappoint you.”  
_

_Wonwoo remembered how that morning he wanted to bang himself against some wall. Now he quite literally wanted to do it but with his other self. If only there were walls in that place..._

_“By the way” Wonwoo 2.0 stopped in his tracks. “The coma was induced to you but waking up depends solely on you. Us. Whatever.”  
_

_“And you can feel them” He continued. “You can feel a few things that are happening with people with whom you have a deep connection with.”_

_Someone immediately crossed Wonwoo’s mind. Someone like the sun, someone with a voice that made angels envy, someone with the warmest, most beautiful smile he had ever seen._

_“Yes, people like_ him. _” His clone replied, in a whisper._

_Then, Wonwoo saw him starting to walk away, once again._

_“This dimmension might be difficult for you to comprehend. But you will get used to it.”_

_“Let’s hope not for too long, though.”_

**☾   ☾   ☾**


	16. Chapter 16

**XVI.**

“Have you ever listened to  _The Downfall of the Moon_?” 

A group of men jumped on their seats, looking back to face Seokmin, who was lying on the windowsill, resting on one arm, as if it was some lounge chair. He grinned, playing with his switchblade and rolling it through his fingers with what could only be experienced mastery.

“It’s a great song, really cool.” He continued, stepping inside the room and walking closer to them. “You see, I really like to _sing_ it...” Seokmin grabbed one of the men by his collar, lifting him from the ground effortlessly. Mingyu and Minghao were crouched next to the window they came in, smirking amused.  
Seokmin pressed his switchblade right on top of the man’s jugular.

“... But I hate _seeing_ it.”

And a gush of blood dashed into the air.

 

**☾   ☾   ☾**

_“Do you know that saying, about the Sun and the Moon?”_

_“No. I don’t know what you mean.” Wonwoo replied, annoyed._

_“Yes, you do. I’m you and you are me. If I’m asking it’s because you know.”_

_“The story about how the Sun loved the Moon so much he died every night to let the Moon breathe?”_

_“Yes, that one. I think it’s beautiful.”_

_“And very tragic.” Wonwoo added._

_“But if you see it this way: The Moon also dies so that the Sun can rise up again. It’s not a one-sided sacrifice. And they rise up, returning to life, everyday and always.”_

_“What is that even supposed to mean?”_

_“Why do you ask me questions when you know the answers to them? We could literally have a silent conversation but here we are.”_

_“Sorry, too used living like an actual human being in this other dimmension called Planet Earth.”_

_“Anyway. People assume the Sun and the Moon can never be happy together. They are opposites after all. As if they were doomed to tragedy from the very beginning and forever. But the Sun and the Moon aren't necessarily mismatched; see it as an allegory. They forget that the Sun and the Moon may be so, so far away from each other - which is also arguable because from their scales and points of view, they might even be very close - and yet they still love each other to the point of sacrificing for one another, everyday. It’s not a tragedy. They are always together, regardless, synchronized because they complete each other, they cannot exist without one another. It's a story of struggle and how they overcome it. It's the most elemental story of love. And when they are the most connected, isn’t it beautiful?”_

_“Do you mean, eclipses?”_

_“Yes. Eclipses are fascinating aren’t they? I like to believe it’s the Sun and the Moon making love. I wish there were eclipses everyday.”_

_“That’s cheesy as fuck and I can’t believe we are talking about the fictional love of two astronomical bodies, in limbo.” Wonwoo rolled his eyes. “Anyway, what does any of this have to do with me? I just want to get out of here.”_

_“Wonwoo, why do you insist on asking me questions you already know the answers to?”_

**☾   ☾   ☾**

 

Mingyu punched the last man standing and dragged him to lie next to the dark pile of uconscious and dead bodies of _Narmone_ minions. He clapped his hands right after, as if he was trying to get rid of some infectious dust. Seokmin was leaning against a wall, arms crossed, whistling.

"Well” Minghao remarked, looking around. “That was easy.”

A sudden buzz rang from Mingyu’s back pocket. It was one of the speakers Hansol gave them. They could hear Seungkwan “I got the things you asked.” He said, his voice a bit robotic from the other side. “Garage, right when you get out from the elevator” He continued. “There’s a black backpack for you. Retrieve it.”

“Thank you, Seungkwan.” Seokmin muttered against the device.

“Be careful... Please.”

And the line shut.

 

All of them were wearing gloves. Seokmin’s face was covered by a red goblin mask and he was holding a spiked baseball bat; Mingyu had a guy fawkes cover-up and what looked like a katana swinging in his hands. Minghao, on the other hand, was wearing a black ski mask that covered his mouth, the hood from his jacket pulled on top of it; he didn’t seem to have a weapon with him but, as always, appearances could be deceiving.

“Nine _”_ Mingyu called through the speaker. “Are we close?”

“You’re right there, man.” He replied. “Third door down the corridor.”

They had reached a large office where the current boss - whatever his name was - apparently waited for them.

“Look what we have here” A creepy voice raised all of a sudden. “I bet I will make you an offer you can’t refuse.” The man turned around on his leather seat, smiling dramatically - and very ridiculously, in fact. Seokmin was kind of expecting a cat on his lap; he looked around in irony but he couldn’t find any feline nearby; what sydrome was that, where every boss from this fucking gang thought they could insult ‘ _The Godfather’_ like this? _Losers_.

“Never thought the three of you would, alone, wipe all my men.”

“No offense but they were weak as fuck.” Minghao replied, rolling his eyes.

“Full offense, actually. It was even a bit insulting, to be completely honest” Mingyu added.

“You bunch of fagg-”

“I would hold my tongue, if I were you” Mingyu moved swiftly, lining up his blade right next to the man’s throat. “I wouldn’t want to lose it now.”

“We know what you did with some boys who weren’t sold to the North for army reinforcements. They weren’t all discarded, were they?” Seokmin approached. “Some were used for?... _Say it_.”

There was no reply.

“SAY IT!” Seokmin growled. Mingyu pressed his blade closer to the man’s flesh.

“S... ex...”

“Louder!”

“Sex!”

“LOUDER!”

“SEX! WE WOULD SELL THEM TO BROTHELS AND ILLEGAL PORN ENTITIES!” The man was panting, pathetically frightened and disgusting. “We just continued what the _First_ did! It was his idea from the very b-beginning!” He was about to sob; what a deplorable existence. “There you go. Happy?”

“Oh” Seokmin had his back facing the scene and laughed ferociously. “The thing is” He turned around to gaze at the man “I am not happy at all.” And he swung his bat, breaking the man’s legs, the crisp and clear sound of bones cracking and ripping the skin, deep lacerations from the spikes sprouting in the flesh. That man wasn’t going to walk ever again. And the trio couldn’t care less about his shrieks.

“Well, how about we take this opportunity to educate the filthy creature before he dies?” Mingyu suggested, amused. “I didn’t like what he was trying to call us before. What do you guys think?”

“And what’s exactly the fucking purpose?” Minghao retorted.

“I’m bored. And I want to play a little game with this hypocrite. He’s gross, I want to see him suffer.”

“I don’t really care as long as I see his head rolling.” Seokmin remarked with scorn. “Do as you please.”

Mingyu was indeed pleased, stroked his tongue across his perfect lines of teeth, displaying his canines in a smirk.

“So, listen up, you fucker.” Mingyu grinned. “My friend here swings to both sides” He said, curling his arm around Seokmin’s shoulders. “He doesn’t really care about gender, he falls in love with people. Isn’t that amazing?” The other boy rolled his eyes “Can you stop it alread-” But Mingyu continued. “My other friend over there isn’t sure whether he likes both flavours of ice cream or not because his only experience until now was-” Minghao kicked him to shut him up. Mingyu insisted, still. “Oh and the guy over here” He pointed at the speaker, in his hands, clearly referring to Nine. “He just doesn’t seem to like ice cream at all.” An audible sigh followed by a facepalm could be heard from the device. “In my case, I’m very certain that I only play in one league.” He stepped back, a big smile tearing his mouth while he shrugged with a hand on his chest. “So, we are all quite atypical, aren’t we? And why is that a problem to _you_?”

The man spat back a whole river of gruesome homophobic insults until Minghao slapped his face with a gloved hand that hid a pair of brass knuckles. A few teeth, mingled with drops of blood and spit, shattered to the ground. Then Mingyu grabbed his head, looked him in the eyes with a twisted smile and suddenly kicked the man’s forehead against his knee.

“Tsk. This one doesn’t learn at all.”

The man started yelling incomprehensible words, his face distorted in a pool of blood. Seokmin remembered how that gang once left Minghao, a little seven year old kid, beaten up worse than that; he didn’t even cry as much as the imbecile in front of them. _Annoying_ , Seokmin thought. He grabbed Mingyu’s katana and flinged it syrurgically, so fast and sharp, his movements could hardly be seen. Only a splash and the sound of something dropping was heard.

“I was already getting sick of this shit.” He threw the bloody weapon back to his owner, who grasped it neatly. “Let’s go, guys.”

A head rolled on the ground.  
Minghao kicked it before they left the room.

“ _Nine_ ” Seokmin ordered from his speaker. “Come here and take us to the _First Boss_.”

 

 

“Really? A _Darth Vader_ mask?”

Nine had joined them not too long ago. While the others used the masks for a most daunting effect - and mostly to conceal their face expressions and emotions, just in case - Nine really needed to cover his face the most, from all of them, especially since he had been in contact with the man and he would recognize him. Also, none of these monsters deserved to see their faces. 

“And that’s the coolest, rad as hell, mask. So shut the fuck up.” Seokmin replied.

“Do you have a problem with ‘ _Star Wars’_?” Minghao cracked his brassed knuckles.

“No! None at all”

“Then shut up, stay close to us and take this” Mingyu handed him a tire iron, patting his back and winking when the guy shivered. “This one isn’t difficult to use.”

 

A few minutes later, the group walked into a dark, very metallic room, slowly, one by one. The gigantic, coward man, who was sitting behind a metal table grinned at them, repulsively.

“Oh, and here I was thinking you would meet me showing your _pretty faces_.”

“Shut the fuck up, you old carcass.” Mingyu replied, grossed out.

The man laughed histerically as the trio, along with Nine, walked towards him.

“But who are _you_?” He asked, pointing at no one in particular since he had no idea who was who behind the masks, but clearly suggesting that he realized a fourth, surprising, presense in there. “I was only expecting three of you.”

The man was ignored. They all surrounded him, whirling their weapons, their fists pressing against the handles as if they were part of their bodies.

“ _Ready?_ ”

 

**☾   ☾   ☾**

_Suddenly, Wonwoo felt it. His heart clenching into wrath and sorrow. Murderous feelings of vengeance that weren’t his but convoluted inside him, regardless, like dripping from a mirror or from an open window leading to someone else’s heart. Someone he knew very well. No. Oh, no._

_”Seokmin” He fell on his knees, whispering. “Whatever you are about to do” Tears started rolling from his eyes. "Please don’t lose yourself, please...” He repeated, balancing his body back and forth, hands covering his face. “Don’t turn into someone you are not... please.”_

_”He can’t hear you.”_

_”Shut up!”_

_Wonwoo’s body trembled like an earthquake. As if his world was about to be vanished and he couldn’t do anything about it, like his existence was useless, with no purpose._  
_Then, he glanced at his own hands, his hands that so many times didn’t feel like his own, becoming slowly translucid._  
  
_“Wonwoo”_

_“You are fading”_

**☾   ☾   ☾**

What was once a man, was now a sprawled humanoid on the ground, wincing and drowning in his own blood.

“What are you waiting for?” Nine yelled. “We should kill him now!”

“But... by killing him... Won’t our actions be... just like his?” Minghao looked at his _brothers_ in a silence he didn’t need to explain.

“Really? And you say that after moping all those men minutes ago?” Nine kept yeling.

"It was different... This time...”

“... What? This time what?!” Mingyu was the one shouting now.

Seokmin fell on his knees and took off his mask. He rubbed his eyes, silently, exhausted, so utterly exhausted. He had been, all this time, eager to end this, once and for all, and now that he had the opportunity to deliver the final blow, he couldn’t. None of them could and he didn’t understand why. What sort of phenomena would make them retreat, at this very moment?

"What if... we let nature and karma decide his fate?”

“You want life, the universe, the fucking stars and shit, to take care of whatever happens to him?” Mingyu threw his hands to the air. “What a good judgement the trees will have.” He mocked, bitterly. “As if life has been fair to us?”

“Mingyu.” The other boy got back on his feet and approached him, touching his wrist. “Life can’t be always a series of unfortunate events.” Seokmin smiled. That was a smile his friends didn’t see for a very long time; it was so familiar and yet it had been so absent during the past few months. His friend didn’t smile like that for so long.

“And people, eventually, get what they plowed.” Minghao added, getting closer to them. “Also, don’t you think that ending him now” He glanced at them, lifting an eyebrow with a smirk. “Would be merciful? I mean, look at him.”

It would be a very painful death if they left him like that. He wouldn’t be able to move at all but he would feel everything and wait and wait and wait... Until the reaper decided to visit. He would have a lot of time to reflect on his abhorrent, pitiful existence, while suffering, his life seeping away slowly.

And it was not just the most cruel fate they could give him, to that excuse of a being, who destroyed so many lives. They were also washing their hands from all the blood that was shed all these years because of them. They were bringing balance to their own world, letting it decide for themselves. It was the Judgement day for that man and their mission was to simply bring it to him.

They threw their weapons and masks to the ground. Then, Seokmin approached the loathsome creature that was wailing on the bloody floor. He whispered.

“Have a good night in hell.”

 

 

As they left the room, followed by Nine - who remained quiet and incredulous the rest of the time, abstaining himself from arguing the trio’s decision - someone rushed into them. It was Chan, holding a cellphone. He stopped for a while to catch his breath and looked at Seokmin, wide-eyed, silently handing it to him.

Jeonghan was speaking from the other line. They were calling him from the hospital. The phone fell to the ground.

Seokmin didn’t hear anyone begging for him to wait as he rushed, animalistic, as fast as his body was capable of.

His heart was beating so loud. An uneasy, binary compass.  
_Wonwoo, wonwoo, wonwoo._


	17. Chapter 17

**XVII.**

**_Wonwoo._ **

**_You're fading._ **

**☾   ☾   ☾**

_“You lost the will to live for a while, back there. That’s why that_ -” Wonwoo's clone replied, pointing at his older, and now see-through, version of himself. _“-is happening.”_

“But!” Wonwoo screeched raising his trembling hands and checking the rest of his body in ghastly shock. “No!”

_“Didn't I warn you before?"_

_“Waking up from your situation is now solely up to you.”_

_“Only you can save yourself.”_  

Wonwoo shut his eyes and crouched, holding himself in fear. When he opened them again, he noticed a little boy, right in front of him, rubbing his face with the back of his arm, wiping his own tears. He knew that little kid very well. Oh, so well... that little, rejected, forgotten child... was him. He remembered how it felt, the first time he didn't want to be alive. The first time he asked why he was even brought into the world.  
That wilted boy was still a part of him, he had never left. Sometimes he would still curl up into himself, deep in darkness and fear. Just like now.

"I am so sorry." He whispered to the boy, misty-eyed. "I am so sorry for failing you."

 _"It's alright."_ His little self smiled a bit, shyly. _"You didn't fail me."_

_“But why were you so afraid for your boyfriend's sake? To the point of going back to that dark place?"_

It was eerie to watch that tiny version of himself uttering such complicated, grown-up words.

“Because I felt him… I was afraid of what he was about to do and what it could turn him into… I was afraid to lose him. I couldn't conceive a world without him, without the person I knew. I was feeling... abandoned... again.”

_“You should’ve had more faith in me, then.”_

 

**☾   ☾**

The little boy suddenly vanished and Wonwoo turned around only to face Seokmin looking at him. He gulped, his knees starting to shake. What kind of cruel illusion was this?

 _“Don’t you think the Seokmin you know is stronger than that?”_ He continued, while Wonwoo walked towards him, hesitant. His whole body was shivering when he brought a hand to touch Seokmin's face. But his fingers only found smoke. _  
_

_“I’m just another creation from your mind, Wonwoo.”_

“Then why were you talking as if you were him?”

 _“But I am_ him _. I’m the perception you have of him.”  
_

_“Do you want to live Wonwoo?”  
_

Did he?

_“You should recall the story of the Sun and the Moon. How they need each other. How the Moon's brightness is actually the Sun's reflection."_

Wonwoo fell on his knees. The other approached him, stepped lower to gaze at the fading boy, trying to look into his eyes. 

_“I am here, by your side, because your body is striving for you. Your mind wants you to comprehend. So it got the image of the person you love the most, so you could understand that you must live not only for me but for yourself too. Don’t give up on your life. I’m waiting and I need you. Have faith.”_

Faith. Wonwoo had long lost his faith in anything... He fell into an abyss that didn’t let him move forward. Until he met a certain sunshine, who caught him and pulled him back to life. There was no reason for him to be afraid of abandonment anymore. They completed each other, balanced each other when needed. So now was the time for Wonwoo to play his role, now was the time for him to bring his other half back to the light, to reflect it. And the chance to live for himself too. Yes, he wanted to live. He-

In a sudden, rays of light sprouted from Wonwoo's fingers, spreading through his arms and the rest of his body, like shards of light crossing the roof of a dense forest. His ears were sibilating, his eyes ablaze.

"Wh-what is going on?"

_"I don't know either. I'm simply in your mind, after all."_

Wonwoo panicked, his breathing getting more and more dilapidated until he felt like drowning. No. He wanted to live, he wanted to live, he wanted to live. Why? Why this, now? Why was he disappearing like a ragged cloth? He felt his eyes stinging, unmerciful.

_"But don't be afraid. Look at me."_

Wonwoo glanced at Seokmin's mirage with struggle. So beautiful. At least he could preserve this last image of him before dissolving from the face of the universe. _Aren't we all stardust?_ The glowing boy contained an ironic laugh. He was now looking at the biggest star in the system while his body departed to join the rest of them in the night sky.

_"But Wonwoo... you aren't astriferous. You're not even moondust. You're the Moon itself."_

Seokmin's apparition approached him, his body crossed by the rays of light, unbothered. He couldn't touch Wonwoo, but he raised his hand, mimicking the gesture of caressing his cheek. He whispered, serenely.  _"Don't be afraid. Close your eyes."_

Wonwoo did so, pressing his eyes tight and holding a choked sob. Seokmin's voice was really close to him now, echoing inside, as if his spirit had just merged with Wonwoo's body.

_“Imagine that we just finished the battle. Picture me taking care of your wounds. Or try to believe that you are about to wake up, at this very moment, in a hospital bed, and I am by your side.”_

_“And tell me Wonwoo. What would I say to you?”  
_

“I…” Wonwoo’s lips quivered. A heavy, burning tear started trailing a path down his face. “…I’m not sure.”

_“Can’t you really tell?”_

 

 **☾** _  
_

The buzzing in his ears grew louder, following the pace of the luminous rays consuming his body. Wonwoo felt like being pushed away by some cosmical force he couldn't describe. There was no more blinding light behind his closed eyelids.  
Instead, he heard dripping sounds, beeping machines, the scent of hard plastic against his mouth, his veins numb and abused by needles. He took a few seconds to gather the courage to open his eyes, only to face a dull, gray, terribly painted roof. Did he...? He made it... He did...  
Wonwoo's movements were really strained; he managed to take off the oxygen mask, sloppily, but didn't touch the IV catheters.  
He felt a gentle pressure, near his lap.

Short strands of black hair, shiny and smooth like the feathers of ravens, diffused on top of him. The calming breathing sounds of Seokmin were healing, delicate miracles. He looked so tired; his face bruised and cut, one of his arms, bandaged, lying across Wonwoo's hips. The older boy placed a hand on his lover's hair, quietly, feeling the soft strands between his fingers, savouring the fact that he wasn't an apparition, he wasn't an illusion, a ghost. He was right there, with him. Wonwoo moved his hand slightly to caress Seokmin's temples.

_I can._

Seokmin's lids opened just a little and blinked. Then, as if an electric shock crossed his body, he lunged forward; his eyes already glazed with tears, his mouth half-parted, his lungs forgetting to breathe. He was silent, processing what was happening, while gazing Wonwoo. A shaking hand cupped Wonwoo's face lightly, as if he was the most precious thing Seokmin had ever layed his eyes upon. He was trying to decipher whether he was still sound asleep, dreaming, or not.

_He would tell me he loves me._

Wonwoo reached to tug the younger's shirt, wanting to pull him closer. Seokmin moved his thumb across the tear still lingering on Wonwoo's face while the older boy traced Seokmin's features with fluttering fingers, delicately. He could finally touch him now, he was allowed to touch the Sun. Seokmin, still dazzled, in a state of utter shock, pressed his lips on Wonwoo's forehead, nose, cheek, and stopped by his ear, murmuring: "Thank God. I love you so much".

_And I would tell him the same._

 

"I had a dream about you.” Wonwoo said.

“How was it like?”

**_You said “Tell me about your books, your visions made of flesh and light”_ **

**_and I said “This is the Moon. This is the Sun. Let me name the stars for you. Let me take you there.”_ **

**_Here I am leaving you clues. I am singing now while Rome burns.  
We are all just trying to be holy. _ **

**_My applejack, my silent night, just mash your lips against me._ **

**_We are all going forward. None of us are going back._ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> » THE END «
> 
> -  
> How predictable is it that a b.a.p stan/veteran baby would provide this fandom the gangster au nobody asked for? I'm indeed a sucker for dark concepts and I think this was the result of me craving both for more seokwoo content plus some badass imaginary from seventeen (since they are yet to release a concept like that). It was do or die and I really felt like taking matters into my own hands.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and joining me on this ride, for leaving kudos, for your comments; your small encouragements meant a lot and I'm really grateful to have seen this fic blooming right before my eyes when it was once just a prompt in my head. And a special thanks to my awesome beta-readers.
> 
> I'm always willing to chat on tumblr/twitter if you have any questions, scenes you'd like to see written or explained, so feel free to stop by. 
> 
> Thank you all, again, for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers:
> 
> ☣ the title of this fic is a distortion of "snow and dirty rain", a title from a poem by richard siken
> 
> ☣ some quotes are based, inspired and/or derive from seventeen songs (chapter five), catherynne m. valente’s deathless (chapter three) and, mostly, richard siken's crush - actually, **each act ends with verses from richard siken’s crush.**
> 
> ☣ you may not copy, reproduce, distribute, publish, display, perform, modify, or in any way exploit any content from this work unless expressively permitted by me.  
>   
> ♱  
> 


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